Anxiety

I’m trapped in this domain that’s making me literally go insane.

Anxiety is like a disease that attacks my entire body.

Anxiety makes my lungs collapse, my chest tight, my body weak.

Anxiety doesn’t allow me to be me; I don’t even know who I am

without anxiety.

What kind of life I could be living if anxiety wasn’t within me. You say

you lack sleep—that’s an understatement for me.

I go to bed anxious

I wake up anxious

My brain never rests; it never shuts off.

I lie there for hours and tell myself I’m fine, I can breath in, hold my breath

for four seconds then breathe out to “release the stress.”

But the reality is…I’m not fine.

It made me realize those who have such a big heart, those who care a

little more are the ones being eaten alive by anxiety.

They are the ones being drowned in their anxious thoughts.

You used to tell me to

quit caring so much

quit worrying so much.

If you wanted me to believe that others’ opinion of me

had no effect on us

you would never have left me to drown.

You never would have punished me

for being depressed

for dealing with my own mental health.

Memories of you have faded.

I thought I would never have ever made it.

I’m here because my mind has become more clear:

you never really cared.

I have extreme anxiety, despite that it don’t show.

I have extreme anxiety, more then you all know.

I’m at a point where I’ve lost all control. I have

extreme anxiety. I’ve reached my very low. I’m waiting

for that moment when things fall into place. I’m waiting

for that moment I find my saving grace. I’m waiting

for that moment when I can finally say

…everything’s okay