an ABC poem of doubts
inspired by… not being able to find a better job (yet)
“anything is possible” may have been a lie
birds chirp outside my window
crying out in protest against this heat
dead air hangs in the crevices of my home
even now, when afternoon has rolled around
fear hangs here too, heavy feelings
geared to take me down, I fear
having doubts is never an easy thing
it comes so naturally to sit in the quiet
just for the misery of basking in it
killing myself with these expectations
letting the weight of my stagnation press in
mountains of shame hoisted up high
nets of stagnation I grapple with that won’t
open or tear with a rip of my brittle nails
piercing my soul, even still, is this
quietness, in which there is nothing but the
racing of my own heart, beating ferocious
silence is not golden; silence feels like failure
televised for all to see but not hear
undone by years of waiting for something to
vehemently sweep me away from my troubles
wind in my hair and music in the distance, a
xylophone symphony of my short-comings
yearning to be heard as my own personal
zenith only beams and gleams in faraway fantasy
About the Creator
angela hepworth
Hello! I’m Angela and I enjoy writing fiction, poetry, reviews, and more. I delve into the dark, the sad, the silly, the sexy, and the stupid. Come check me out!
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Comments (8)
Whoaaa, this was so smoothly executed. I only realised it was an Abecedarian when I reached V. I hope things get better for you. Sending you lots of love and hugs ❤️
Well-wrought! I love how seamlessly you pieced this together through the alphabet. The worst thing to live for is a job, but we need a job to live. Just speaking with my oldest about such troubles, which I have encountered all too many times in my own life. Bless you and may you find a better place to land!
What a unique poem and cleverly crafted!
This was well constructed around the theme of letters. The line about silence made me reflect on whether or not I too feel failure in the quite. Sometimes I think I rush too much to really listen to it.
I know how you feel. I hope you find something soon. Your poem was clever, it took me a minute to realise why it was called ABC Lol. I really like the image you used.
There's always been a fire in you, so don't let doubt extinguish it. Even a blind idiot like me can see that there's a greatness to you. Good luck on the hunt for a better job. I said it before, but you can definitely make it as a reviewer (one of your many callings, for sure). If you need a 'fake' reference on your CV/resume for anything, I don't mind pretending to be a professor of some esteemed establishment 🥸 I'll tell them to hire you immediately. But best of luck. I hope you find somewhere where you can be happy :)
If you're having a broken heart season - like Meryl Streep said years ago, turning it into art is a step in the right direction. I hope things get better. 💙
This is very relatable and I hope things get better for you. They will eventually. You deserve it. :)