All Eyes on Me

How does an unusual body navigate throughout this world?

It happened again today

Eyes followed me around, curious to understand

It has always been like this, I learned not to care

It's not like I had any other option

To be fair, I did

Choose to be proud instead of ashamed

But that didn't come easily

Love is what guides me

Love is what I choose to guide me every day

Every journey has its beginnings

São Paulo, January 11, 1988

The moment I was born, it was acknowledged that I was gifted with a genetic mutation

My soul did not choose this form or this family by accident

Unconditional love was the first thing I received

Worries came right along but were kept disguised and discreet

How to protect a child from a world that can be so cruel?

History has proven this could be a path full of possibilities

Geraldo, my grandfather, was gifted, too

When you understand the river's course, it's easier to navigate

Believing I could do anything was the mantra I was raised upon

Limitation was never something my family projected on me

From the good intention of protection, they hold me safe

Nurturing surroundings make a solid foundation

Even when the world insists on shaking

Why does it hurt when the world seems to push me away?

It happened again today

Eyes followed me around, confused by what they saw

Most people don't ask

Even if their body screams for an answer

Silence is what is there, and it makes me sad to perceive that we live in such a segregated society

I feel lonely and don't know where to go

It is rare the perspective of how vital a part of my story this is

It’s rarer the realisation that I couldn't be offended by owning my body

If I am all pieces of myself, why do very few people understand that?

Our bodies carry more stories than we are able to contemplate

Made of multidimensional layers, a lifetime of learning leads the way

Gifted and privileged, my body has taught me a lot about humanity

Wrapped between pride and prejudice, I realise what transformed my life

Four surgical interventions allowed me to navigate this world easily

What happens when access is denied?

Sometimes, I wonder what my life would have been without it

Access to health insurance changed the course of my life

I stop. My imaginary reality is real life for many others

I cry, non-stop

A deep sadness takes over my body, and I get angry with society

Can the system we live in be broken and rebuilt?

A nurse showed me teaching materials referring to patients as clients

I cry more

Evolution feels blurred and backwards

I am freaked out

What kind of utopian world would be built if integrity were the collective-driven moral?

It happened again today

Eyes followed me around, creepy and intense

I noticed that, they did not and continued to stare

— Their reaction is a reflection of their inner world

I tell myself to remember that it is not about me

— Isn't it? They can't stop staring

I hold all my pieces together and tell no one

— It won't matter. It won't change anything

I tell myself that to remember who I am

— Make the inside solid, and nothing will shake you

Is it pride that silences prejudice?

Or is it the courage to stand as you are?

Years passed, and only one thing changed

I stopped hearing the whispers of disdain

I no longer feel like an animal in a zoo

Such action would diminish my worth

Over the variety of reactions I've experienced,

Fascination is a savoury one

What do you see when you look at yourself in the mirror?

I search for my lines aiming to trace boundaries

I find and redefine

As nature, it is all fluid and in constant motion

Immersed in my emotions, I now know how to name them

Writing my reality from an authentic perspective

Showing the world what their eyes can't see

Claiming the parts of myself I wasn't allowed to express

Strengths. Flaws. Inside. Outside

I love every part

Is it insane to think I am a piece of art?

Perhaps we should all go mad.