Alighting

At what point do I retire,

Allow the ground to swallow me whole.

Dig my own grave and

Lay down softly in the plush earth.

.

Sigh,

Finally.

I am home.

.

Or do I persist?

The gentle embrace of finality

Calls me closer each day.

The thorns have always looked like roots.

.

Come,

They beckon.

Lay your head down

.

And sleep. You are

Tired, your journey has been long.

Aching limbs will fall to soft

Dirt. You need not cry anymore, child.

.

Home.

You are home.

But am I?

.

Sometimes, despite the constant pitter

Patter of rain falling over my eyelids,

I spy a ray of sunshine.

Gorgeous and brilliant and bright.

.

Reaching,

My hand lifts to the sky.

“Can I have you?” I ask.

.

But the roots pull deeply and my

Arms are caught. I cannot move and I cannot

Breath. This is what I wanted, no?

No, I think.

.

This

Is

Not.

.

Screeching and clawing I gasp for breath

And fight the knife like sharpness of

The earth’s embrace. I am not

Ready, I scream. Finally, I

.

Open

My eyes.

Oh, how the world does glow.

.

The thorns dig into my skin, cut

My arteries and leak my blood onto the

Soil beneath me. I do not stop.

I do not deter. I fight till I find

.

Sunshine

In my eyes.

Air in my lungs.

.

The wounds I have sustained will fester.

Permanent marks will forever paint my delicate flesh.

But my voice will rise and my lungs will live

And I will rejoice for I am alive!

.

I

Do not despise

The earth and its pull.

.

I do not damn the chains that held me captive,

Even in my struggle. They were golden chains,

Whispers of caution. “Are you sure? You can burn so easily

On the surface above. Stay with us, stay here, be safe.”

.

Each

Scar a remnant

Of the battle.

.

Of the plight that almost drowned me in soil.

I did not know the sweet ecstasy of air in my throat

Before I almost lost it. How could I have ever realized

The sheer beauty of simply being alive without

.

Almost

Having

Died?

.

To the grave,

I say thank you.

You have shown me the light. I did not know it

Shined so brightly till I almost sewed shut my eyes.

.

Now,

I breathe,

And am determined to alight.