Alexander Burr

His name is Alexander Hamilton.

And his is Aaron Burr, sir.

Both men of the past.

Both men of many words.

A daughter to 2 fathers,

I find myself conflicted.

Each having their own perspectives

so monumentally different.

I wish to be them both,

yet I feel caught in between.

So here I go again, feeling hopelessly unseen.

I strive to be Alex, so I write as if I'm dying.

I strive to be Aaron, so I keep being indecisive.

I want to write my way to success.

But I'm unexceptional.

I'm impulsive like Alexander,

Yet like Aaron, an intellectual.

I want to think things through, tackle with precision,

but I'm wasting so much time that I'm drowning in indecision.

I want to jump right in, free myself of repetition,

yet I fear the permanence my actions may have on my reputation.

I write because I'm running out of time.

But I hide because I'm scared what they'll think of me when I die.

I write because I want to leave a legacy.

I can't be forgotten.

Yet I remain silent for fear of being written out of context.

I want to defy society,

yet I silently abide.

I want to contribute to a cause,

yet I refuse to pick a side.

I speak in poetic nursery rhymes and childish limericks,

Yet I want to use my writings to help make a monumental difference.

Alexander is the impulse,

Aaron is my yet.

Alexander is my reaction,

Aaron is my hesitance.

Alexander is my pride, though so little I have.

Aaron is my restraint, telling me to be content where I am.

I hear both of them out, hear them scream and shout.

Wanting to be like both, yet still trying to figure things out.

Even as I go to publish this, my inner Burr restrains my hands.

But I remember Alexander's advice, on taking a stand.

I've realized the first stand you have to take is for yourself.

Because, look around, do you see anyone else?

I go over the draft, asking for critiques.

The Alex in me lends me his words, whilst my inner Burr takes a backseat.

Such two different men.

Such opposite beliefs.

Yet here they are both influencing me.

Their stories are a part of me, my outlook, my beliefs.

Two founding fathers, both fathers to me.