Aftermath

The chaotic state of being in which I constantly reside. Either wallowing in the pits or riding in the skies.

All you ever see is the aftermath. You’re all living in the wake of the disaster zone my crash makes every time.

I climb out of the wreck, dust myself off, and prepare for the ascent. You know it isn’t the fall that hurts I love the rush, and you all clap so loud how could anyone stop climbing while you cheer and egg them on?

You click your tongues and shake your heads while I lie there on the ground. How many times before I give my last performance, I give my last hoorah!

K. B. Silver

Life with mental illness can be very alienating. Friends see you when you are full of energy, and putting on a mask and they love that part of you. They laud that part of you. They verbally encourage you to take your medicine and stay healthy, but as soon as those things start working, you stop entertaining them. They quickly fade away. I have never stopped taking my medicine in order to gain access to my fun or creative side. But I do go through long periods of tiredness, defensive introverted spells, and creative dry spells.