The news of your death spread
Like news today do
On social media
Posted there before even some of your family knew
The post implied
That you took your own life
I was devastated
But not surprised
After all, you had tried it before
I was devastated
But also angry
How could you do it to yourself? To us?
My anger was accompanied by guilt
Why had I not done more?
Called you more often
Invited you to come and visit
Could I have done something to prevent it?
So when we learnt the truth
That you didn’t kill yourself
That those who were the first to know jumped to conclusions
Were too eager to be the first to tell the world
To wait for the truth
When we learnt it was a pulmonary embolism
I was so relieved
It was a relief because there was nothing I could have done
I no longer had to feel guilt
I no longer had to feel angry at you
With the anger and guilt stripped away
I was a free to grieve
About the Creator
R.S. Sillanpaa
Why is it so hard to write about myself? That's where I get writer's block!
In short, I am a writer, dreamer, and a cancer survivor writing about a wide range of things, fiction and non-fiction, whatever happens to interest and inspire me.
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Comments (3)
I'm so sorry for your loss 🥺 Sending you lots of love and hugs ❤️
All our love to you.
Wow, what a beautiful and profound poem! You did an amazing job!