A word of your time
Finding your voice when it’s lost
Shhhh
Give me a second let me think. It’s easier to think in a clear space yet harder to speak when the need to be heard falls on deaf ears. Juggling between the motions of what you need to say versus what you want to say, just to be met with a conversation thread of you pouring out your soul and not a word from the person you crave to understand. How funny it is to always be there for people in need yet the same urgency results in disastrous arguments leaving you apologizing for something that shouldn’t warrant an apology. For what am I apologizing for, when it’s you who should be sorry burrowing your shame at my feet. How little you gave based on the grand gesture you expect; my words for no one but for you to allow them to be tainted within your lies. Further have you fallen chasing a dream lead on by a lie, the heavens must be pleased. Allow my words to express myself yet in expression I am punished for how to feel, sheltered with myself and your lies. How can we share? What must you give In order to equate for you're taken? Words have meant everything yet when they’re are tainted and hard to wash away my voice falls and the feeling get boxed up hoping a brave soul will discover the darkness that lives within them; the cries for help. Treasure my words escape within my memories and understand that words create as fast as they destruct. Pitter patter into my soul the remarks left on everything fear has tarnished, leaving me devastated and a rusted metal taste in my mouth. Punishment twice for a though, reason, idea something you didn’t allow to flourish just so that your own ego should be spared; yet my own ego lay trampled over like a stampede of animals escaping from their cages life at a zoo. Hold my words close and nurture them like that of a baby because for right now I’m too broken to give. Hold my words close like a warm hug from a long-lost friend. Hold my words close like something not to be taken for granted because in this moment, unlike any moment these are sadly the only things I’m capable to give.
I hope these words reach you well yet another opportunity for words to paint a photo never captured. Beginnings marked at the end of that statement before it even started because you expect me to try... try based on a lie, try based on fiction, try based on information not received, yet hide within my words and point the blame back towards me? Paint you a picture with the words creating beauty as you allow them to grow. Tall, strong and matured like a child you help grow. Look away in pity by protecting by the less you know. Shhhhh quiet another awful story to remain untold.
Where to begin where fear has swepted away the urge just be? Longing for the urge to skip part just to reach that of the end. What kind of life is proving you are stronger than your words? Just as you sit around waiting for a voice lost to regain it’s strength and finally forever be willing to be heard.
But in the silence of the night allow words hopes and dreams to find peace because in your world words have no place just little pockets of unprivileged signs hunting for a chance for release. One day hopefully maybe the words will come from beneath the soul from which they are begging to seep.
About the Creator
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Bringing the city... home
Swallowed up by the color of enchantment,where life is but a dream lives a young woman coming to terms with her greatest manifestation to date; a room that captures every chapter of her existence and ever emotion to elevate her to where she wants to be. Surrounded by the individualized colors of God’s most peaceful skies sits a huge mural paying homage to the place that bred her New York. Grays, blues,whites, blacks, all offering a strong sense of what is to be desired amongst the cuties lights. The mural itself is larger than life and stepping into the room allows you to be frozen in time if what her home means to her. Backing out but never completely backing away from the mural sits her homage to the granter and alliance for her blessings, nature. It is completely natural to desire and for that in a corner adjacent to the mural is covered in greenery. Living breathing strings of pearl, peperomia hope, cherry blossoms, hanging proudly like a signal from the heavens of true life. Standing gleefully amongst the hanging display sits a money tree surrounded by the natural light of the sun that highlights not only it’s own but your everlasting urge for growth. Panning our just a tad bit from nature’s glory hangs floor length icicle curtain lights to illuminate how deeply light within the darkness is an essence of hope. Although the curtains are gathers into a singular corner it offers hope in a time where hope is as far away as her home in the city. Hanging in a corner parallel to that of the mural is an macrame swinging chair low enough where she’s is able to reach it at her height, but high enough so her feet never touch the ground as it embraces her in its comforts. Adding a touch of elegance right above that of the entrance is an aged New York City train map of the place she once called home that highlights a time of ease knowing just like the millions that live within its there are always destinations further beyond what the eye can see. Highlighted at the core of her surrounding a sign that reads “Bronx, NY” although it’s been years since she had been in her home. But the difference with this sign is the lettering itself uses a play on the MTA lettering that of the train lines. Switching the views yet again but always within view of the murals light is the most meaningful thing in the room, fire escape storage units that store her collection of funko pop because although she’s a woman a child she will always be at heart. Exit from the door way which you’ve came into a small hallways that houses the linen closet full of towels, cleaning cloths, an assortment of sheets, however tucked away is the blanket that are hand crocheted with care by a grandma who is yet to live in the exchange of what another state has to offer. A few step from that is a bathroom. Toilet and sink the basics, however the highlight of that room is the bathtub and shower. For the first time in her life the two things are separated. The shower looks like a room within the bathroom with a waterfall shower head. Of equal grandness is the bath tub that features identical setting to that of a hot tub. Staying within that room are heated floors offering solace on cold nights after a soak in the tub or the controlled comfort of the man made rain. Continuing inside the bathroom is a mirror that follows the color scheme of the rooms pass grays, and blacks. Walk through yet another door and exit into the open complex of the apartment’s offerings. The kitchen counter sits parallel to the stove refrigerator and additional cabinets. Moraccan tiles line the backsplash of both areas with blue, purple and white. The cabinets are white as well although outside of her original plan works perfectly with the purity of the tiles white. Stainless steel appliances glisten from the sun shining through the window that sit on the window accross from the kitchen. Next to the window is the gray couch, coffee table, and additional storage. Across from that is a tv nothing big but next to that sits a door leading to the balcony. On the balcony is additional storage. Lining the open entrance are sheer curtain with lights hanging above them so within the worlds darkness of night will still be light. These lights are special due to them being tiny jars that look majestic once the sun has fallen and the moon has taken its place.
By Nicole Shuler5 years ago in Motivation
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