A tale of self belief

h to cease to exist, to hide my essence and to dive deep,

Under the peonies of the stillness of darkness under the waters of sleep.

Torment lays its crevice in every breath,

Alas, the beauty of life that danced its mirth somehow mourns its death.

Life is beautiful, it is a journey that beholds the veracity of the ethereal hues of creations, of narratives we choose to tell, of tales of amor and togetherness we decide to build. Through the crevices of pain, and under the summoned layers of deceit, glory, animosity and gory, there lies a story that we yearn to turn into reality, the story of us, You and me. But does life always rain unicorns and rainbows, is it always like the vision of rose-tinted glasses that colour our perspective with hues of hope and beauty?

How I wish I could blatantly lie that life is all light and filled with sunshine and warmth! I wish about that but truth be told life is more of a bane than it can ever be a boon. It is the darkness that forges us to be the dream of light that we wish to enter soon. Yet as go through the darkest of times, the act of having it all together never fails to surprise me. How delightfully deceitful are humans who cry in gallant echoes of pain in their silent screams and yet plaster a smile that talks about their existence brimming with hopes and dreams?

Today I want to painstakingly tell you, that life is ugly, it is messy, it is chaotic and more than anything it is a labyrinth of suffering. Of churning in the same hammered wheelings of learnings until the hurt does not hurt anymore and fostering ourselves into the beings that embellish through the soaring heat of pain and toil, to step into the higher version of us who grow into mighty trunks of wisdom firm in their soil. It is astounding how we keep ruminating through the past and the anomalies of the future, that we forget the only proposition that lies in our hands is the moment we lay our feet in.

As someone who likes having everything in control, I have grown into learning the notion of being where your feet at, because the truth is knowing how your life will map out at any moment is an illusion. It is a false narrative that a lot of us hold that only crushes in the windfalls of remorse and melancholy, in the tide of things not going our way. Does our pain diminish in its course with time? The answer is no, we just become immune to the teaching and the brevity of the stance that occurred and become accustomed to the lesson that it taught us.

The existential catastrophe that causes us to plummet our belief and hope that belies to be in ourselves, happens from time to time. But then the question arises will this ever stop? Will I ever be happy and not suffer? Why am I the one to be inflicted with pain that I did not even deserve? These are inner dialogues that we all have had at some point in our lives. Pain and suffering will always be a part of all of us, no matter where we go and what we do.

But this does not mean we stop living because of the fear of pain and suffering, how atrocious and melancholic would existence be if the only way we lived was through the embosoming of terror and the what ifs! I know it is easier to just give up and not be hopeful for tomorrow because whenever we hold onto joy, it somehow is accompanied by the arrival of grief and lament. I am sorry for all the times you thought that your life had no meaning when the ones you loved hurt you in ways you cannot recover from. I am sorry for all the times your heart was pure and you loved that person deeply but all you got in return was mistreatment and pain. I am sorry for all the times you thought you were unlovable or there was no hope left for your existence because of how much you have been through.

I am sorry for all the things that happened to you despite you not being at fault and you having a nice heart! I hope this post reminds you that there is a whole world out there waiting for you, great beauty, music and art and genuine love and care. There are so many people you are yet to meet who will love you for who you are and not hurt you like you were in the past, there are so many restaurants that you will discover that will become your favourite places to hang out.

There are so many songs that you will stumble across that will become parts of your secret favourite playlist, there are so many sunsets to adore, so many cafes you will visit and so many moments where your heart will say, ‘Thank you god this is more than I prayed for. I hope you realise that life has more to do than achieving it all and being successful according to the societal timeline. I hope in the end you realise that with every narrative you choose to build, and every decision you make, you will be okay.

You will be okay whether it works out or not, because you are enough just as the way you are, right now while you are reading this pos

To or to not to be, to be kind or to be atrocious in my stance. Life in its mirth fails to beckon us with a second chance. We often get lost in our hardships and darkness, and forget to appreciate the beauty that already exists in our world. The truth belies to be that we are already living in one of the answered prayers that our past self yearned for to come true.

You will be okay whether it works out or not, because you are enough just as the way you are, right now while you are reading this post.

I love you and I am so proud of you.

From being a marketing graduate to becoming a content writer, blogger, author, marketing mentor and social media manager and a recognized and published poet, I am grateful for it all. I would like to extend my heartfelt gratitude to @s7poetry for recognizing and appreciating my work among the top 100 poets of India amongst 1000+ participants.

I hope this post gives you strength and inspiration to believe in yourself and know that dreams do come true.

Love

From someone who is trying to build her essence in the silent echoes of glory and screams,

In the hope of finding myself in radiant smiles, I am Hridya and I dare to dream.