A Skeleton

I have a skeleton in my closet that I don’t want anyone to meet

I’d rather bury us alive, or

Purge him from my mind

But it’s more than just a haunting, I’m bound by alluring eyes

As this ghost grows quiet and I burn sage,

“BOO!” but instead of being scared, it’s a welcomed jolt

If it were just this ghoul, I could stand my ground

But from innocence there’s something off, perhaps a bit twisted

Within…me?

Just like any haunting, there’s activity and rest,

Always a scandal at best,

The ghosts play hide and seek with me,

But they vanish when visitors come and peep

However this particular ghost is like my shadow,

Looming over my shoulder,

Terrorizing my mind.

From dreams to nightmares, the subconscious desire is being brought to light.

It’s always the ones you trust the most holding the knife,

And once they punctured me with their jealousy, they gave a crooked twist

Fabricating a wicked lie

Now it’s “Who are you with? Why are you lying? You’re sleeping around.”

My heart’s bleeding out, this wound needs time,

How do I defend myself from a vile lie.

And even then the prognosis isn’t promising

The only man I could trust, who made me safe, who never judged

Suddenly slamming gavels and severing our chord of trust

We were once a cord of three,

It was God, him and me,

Now I just see my life fractured,

Not even once, did he question it nor did he defend me…

Nope, he went straight to the gun and pulled the trigger.

A decade of trust up in smoke, the source taken at their word

And it hurts twice as much because that source is his blood

I cannot put into words how broken I’ve become,

I’ve screamed, I’ve cried, I’ve painted smiles and flexed

Because his feelings matter more than mine,

Being an empath has its curse

And when it’s bad, it’s like being burnt alive

I’d rather delete my own feelings and seal my lips,

Because I have to be strong to protect his fragility

So, I cover my eyes and hide my bruises and scars

And just as I begin to brush this under the rug and forget,

The devil wants in.

My spiritual armor is amuck,

The demon I once exorcized, returned with a sinister gleam in her eyes

She’s settling in my home, her time has come,

Because she’s met my skeleton and now my intrusive thoughts can no longer hide

There’s a truth I can’t admit, in the shadows that I hide,

Teetering on a sacred line,

The skeleton in my closet, I cannot bury in its grave,

Losing the alliance between my heart and mind,

Constantly at war with thoughts thrown aimlessly

Now staring into the reflection of hollowed eyes

And I hear the whispers of my ghost

Sliding down a slippery slope, and now I'm dead from Imagination’s fun.

Every day and every night I attempt to suppress these vivid sights,

Reluctantly partaking in the devil’s tango

Yet, I know this is just a spiritual attack, and none of this is reality

Talk about a psychotic break…

Because they’re like me, what I want is not meant to be

This is just the devil’s ploy

But maybe, just maybe, they feel it too

Maybe that’s why they fluctuate

Or maybe it’s just the rumor getting to my head,

Perceptions double edged sword

This is just a skeleton in my closet, nothing less, nothing more

This is just a spiritual battle warring in my mind

So paint on that smile and laugh, pretend you’re fine

Because if you shared your burdens you must admit your crime

And no one has the strength, and no one has the time

Soldier on and ignore the hollowed end of the barrel,

Because you’re nothing anyway,

Just the next best thing, like a new toy.

Always seen but never remembered, the story of my life

Always heard but no one listens, just another strike

Those who say they know me, only know me at the surface

But I confide to the skeleton in my closet

Even though they haunt me, they’re the only one I trust

At least they’ve been there for me when I needed a friend the most,

Perhaps one day even the ghost will see the messages I left,

All my thoughts, fears, all left unread.

I accept my shadow, my skeleton, my ghost…

Because if they ever knew, I’d be the sinner and the fool

Dripping in the scent of sin

I have a skeleton in my closet, I don’t want anyone to meet…