A Poem - Written by Depression

Silently in the night, I cry, hidden tears, not to let you go, to not see your face, all brilliant, to hear your voice screaming into the wind, this madness in my heart, a silent rage, ripped apart from my very soul, that day you left the mortal world, me all alone, a broken soul, I never claimed to be a saint, here I stand, misery, nothing left to give, to hear the silence of the grace, this broken world I call home, no hope remains.

The man in the mirror, sadly deteriorating, trying to find his way home but that is impossible since they tore that home down, only memories remaining, welcome to suicidal depression, you can't even do that as it would hurt too many people, sadness in that memory, that action, what do you do, just stand there like a fool? Look lightly at the world, try to make the world believe you are a clown though it nearly impossible as your smile has left so long ago.

The sunshine in your world, that replaced that loss, you made dim, you couldn't care enough to fight for that love, there you stand, your own actions, your huge downfall.

To misery you drink, cheers to fellows long dead, the misery of your life awash in your sins, to drink, to love, to hate, to the brief thoughts that you can fit into a perfect mold, oh brief thoughts, you cannot, you are unfit, to wander the world looking for life, for love, for that perfect life that apparently doesn't exist.

Look into my face, I don't deserve to have you, oh how I wish I did, a perfect fit that I threw away, oh how I wish I could see that look I saw on your face the other night, you looked at me like love, but it was fleeting, a sweet embrace for only a few seconds.

A sigh. I whisper your name, how I wish I could hold you, there in the night, a sweet love, I knew so long ago, the Gods took that to be replaced with an angry shell of a being you know, how I wish you could have met me when I had a soul.

I stand here, in the dark of night's sin, a broken man, waiting for the end, though it shall not come, misery keeps me alive, a sentence of life, of pain, to dare not smile or it will break the world.

The heart aches, I don't deserve you, I only deserve this disgrace. I still read those letters, press them to my lips, I dream of you, that part of my soul left wishing to be embraced by you.

I write, to express that pain, even if no one reads, it makes me feel again, to wish, to think, I love you still even in rage, your face my guiding ligjt against the boiling sea, how I wish I could hold you, kiss you, to feel you, to heal my broken soul, my heart aches.

I don't deserve to have you, my beautiful one, I threw it all to the wind, to be scattered away from me, I still catch you looking, but is it worth the fight?

Am I worth the fight?

Here I sit, wondering, knowing probably I am not. A broken spirit in a fight, trying to figure out which way is up against the fierce storms in that turbulent seas, trying to drown me, knowing I cannot swim.

Tonight I write, something, words, to share, to feel, I wish I could tell you everything; love, hate, madness, a soft kiss, to feel you, hear you moan my name, your only one, you say to me, in bedroom talk, love me and me alone, to see you look at me like you once did, to hold me, to tell me it will be alright.

Here I sit, wondering, which way to go, to sleep, to perchance to dream of better times, of you and I, together again.