A Fruitless Love

I need to stop thinking about you; about your eyes that I could stare into for hours. How they shower me in fear and joy in the same instant... about the way you light up the room with your contagious laughter... What have I gotten myself into?... A love that will never bloom and yet it has the audacity to bud... And even now every time our eyes meet my heart beats a little faster.

I wish I could control all of this, but I've never been good at this sort of thing. I'm holding onto every word you say as if to miss a single syllable would be to miss a breath. Even from afar I'm hoping your eyes will find mine in this crowded room and stay.

Perhaps, my hope has been falsely raised by those around me who have seen your gaze. Was I just so simply worthy of all your praises, that I mistook them for lines to read between? Maybe I can't reign in these feelings, but I can't pretend they don't exist even if to you I am insignificant.

I know this love is a one-sided affair, so I will do my very best to hide it with care. I'll write it down, and shut it out. Hopefully, soon I'll be able to put this love on that dusty windowsill alongside the rest of my withered fantasies. That's all they are and will ever be anyway. I've endured much pain in this life, but nothing feels as never-ending or as real as the heartache that comes watching yet another fruitless love wither away.