A Domestic Regret
A survivor's villanelle
Not once did he ever admit to my abuse
He, the "stand-up" family man
Insecurity, history, equals not an excuse
~
My deepest regret: I didn't cut him loose
At the first inkling of his sinister plan
Not once did he ever admit to my abuse
~
Love bombing me was merely a ruse
Winning over my girls in a minimal span
Insecurity, history, equals not an excuse
~
Birth of our own babes, added gin to his juice
Jealousy, instability; his rampage began
Not once did he ever admit to my abuse
~
Time tuned his trip wire, of this, I deduce
Manipulative tactics- my daily dose of bran
Insecurity, history, equals not an excuse
~
Suicidal threats of an attic hanging noose
Attempting my demise, I took the kids and ran
Not once did he ever admit to my abuse
Insecurity, history, equals not an excuse
~
Author's Note: This Villanelle reflects on a personal encounter with domestic abuse twenty-five years ago.
True to my words, I took four small children and ran, literally for our lives.
Healing has been a mix of heavy thoughts and emotions, including self-blame, regret, and shame.
To this day, my abuser denies all claims made by me and my children. There is no contact, despite all his failed attempts. For my family, healing has meant moving forward, knowing he holds onto his lies.
About the Creator
Marilyn Glover
Poet, writer, & editor, writing to uplift humanity. A Spiritual person who practices Reiki and finds inspiration in nature.
Mother of four, grandmother of two, British American dual citizen living in the States
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Comments (16)
Well deserved placing in the challenge. This Villanelle is horrifyingly potent. So glad you escaped.💖
Wooohooooo congratulations on your win! 🎉💖🎊🎉💖🎊
I'm sorry this happened to you and your children, Marilyn. I'm glad to hear you're working on healing. I know too well how long and difficult that process is. xo
Well done on.placing. nice to see your name next to my own.
Congratulations on placing Marilyn. Powerful piece!
Congratulations on getting away! Your writing is always regal, profound, lovely & inspiring! Thx 4 sharing! 💕🫶🏾
Literally chills. Grateful you got away 💖 Abuse is awful... Especially coming from the people that are supposed to love us the most
Oh 😳 wow! This hit home, straight into my heart and my own pain. I've never tried a villanelle, and this piece is brilliant. Congratulations on your win also.
Potent words pertaining to your truth, Marilyn. I'm not surprised you're a survivor. You embody spiritual strength and true, motherhood instincts. Your abuser failed x.
I honour your sharing and any catharsis experienced in the writing of it. This is power in the way the feminine processes it. The way it needs to be done. Blessings to you, Marilyn, and all whom you love 🌸💐🌸
The image already made me feel like this is going to be something strong, deep — something that is still etched into the mind, soul and body. I like how you stood up for yourself in the first tercet. Willing that the past of another — be not made to justify their actions. The repeated line in the second tercet, is hitting now. Oh wow. This line. Took me by my collar. 'Birth of our own babes, added gin to his juice'. You allowed the pain to take over, and it produced this amazing line. I still cannot read pass this bit until I allow it to settle. Wait 🫷🏾 🫸🏾 'suicidal threat of an attic hanging noose' whoa. The blend here, is absolutely breathtaking. It was like two separate moments — two suggestions. Merge to provide a cohesive scene. I love that you added that into the last bit — the ending quatrain. That shocking moment validates. And shows you as a very strong woman and mother. But also shows the tenderness and need to be somewhere safe and secure. This was outstanding and I am so very sorry that you and your four children had to experience this. Sending hugs 🤗❤️🖤👌🏾👏🏾
Abusers would never admit to their wrongdoings and would always play the victim. May they rot in hell. Sending you lots of love and hugs ❤️
So glad you made the right choices. We're fortunate to have you among us. Very well written, Marilyn!
You made the right decisions and choices in this case. YOU should feel good and words express perfectly all your past and present feeling. Good job.
This is such a powerful piece. The lines stand firm and tall, with a staccato rhythm that punctuates the importance and finality of your words. 👏👏👏🖤 Thank you for sharing your experience with us. Knowing there is a life after what seems like a life-ending decision is a huge help to others.
This was heartbreaking. It's a powerful poem, don't get me wrong, but sad you all had to experience that. Glad you got free from him, though. Powerful and important entry for the challenge, Marilyn!