A Collection of Thanksgiving Thoughts and Limericks and a Poem

Thanksgiving is around the corner. It is a food and family festival extravaganza in America. The grocery stores are locked and loaded. There are lots of places that offer prepared Thanksgiving dinners. And, for those who want to forgo cooking and cleaning and catering to relatives that they have to pretend to like, there are many restaurants that will be serving Thanksgiving dinners. I have exercised this option successfully many times and had some exceptional Thanksgiving dinners. Had my fill, paid the bill and then went home to watch football and chill.

Internet Foodies are in a frenzy. All they can think about is what they are going to make for Thanksgiving, how will they serve it, what will the table look like, and how much leftovers will there be? They are focused on the feast. Me, not so much. Don’t get me wrong, I love turkey, stuffing et all, but I can do without the fixing it. Then while amusing myself surfing the net reading the foodie fantasies, I discovered the answer to the “I can do without fixing it” dilemma is in a can. Woo Hoo!

Not into traditions from the past

Or food feast memories that last.

I’m about ducking prep –

With a can opener and one step…

I’ve got a Classic meal that’s easy and fast.

Yes, it’s a holiday foodies hold dear,

The biggest cooking day of the year,

But if that’s not your plan

There’s Thanksgiving in a can….

Of course, I’m not being sincere!

I have seen Deviled Eggs being mentioned as great appetizers for the Thanksgiving feast. They are definitely tasty and colorful and when piped, food art…but starting off a family and friends celebration with sulfur bombs??? Do you really want the answer to the question “How was your Thanksgiving?” to be “It was a gas – literally and figuratively!”

Deviled eggs are indeed appetizing,

But I find it a bit surprising

A festive gathering starts

With uploading farts…

That put a cramp into socializing.

The appetizers and cocktails are the undercard for the main event when all of those hours of shopping, prepping, cooking and setting the table step into the ring. And it is indeed a championship bout, however the only thing happening with a belt is the loosening of the one you’re wearing prior to the unbuttoning of pants. When the dinner bell rings, it’s GO TIME!

An annual exercise worth repeating,

Where will power takes a beating.

It’s a day dedicated

To getting fully satiated…

Thanksgiving’s about overeating!

There’s nothing like a big turkey dinner.

This holiday meal’s always a winner.

With many courses, then dessert,

We eat ’til we hurt…

And nobody ever leaves thinner.

It starts the season of my spreading ass.

Good thing, it soon will pass.

Due to the expanse

I can’t button my pants…

Redefining “critical mass.”

Then there is the aftermath of stuffing yourself and still finding room for a piece of every pie and dessert after dinner.

The Thanksgiving buffet was great,

But I am afraid I took the bait

And went back for plate after plate.

Now after everything I ate,

It’s time for a scale to state

What it’s going to take to abate

My waistline’s increased growth rate.

This isn’t open to debate –

This old man needs to lose weight!

But it sure was fun putting it on!

Thanksgiving weekend has another tradition worth mentioning.

Thanksgiving is truly the start of the season of over indulging.

We have to push ourselves away from the table on Thursday and push ourselves into the stores on Friday or now Thursday night.

We morph from gut busters into deal busters going straight from lining up at the dessert table to lining up outside of Target and Wal-Mart.

Is this a great country or what? Overeating and over spending…a capital holiday tradition.

Black Friday’s happening today

When super shoppers fly into the fray.

Retail’s year depends

On how much everyone spends…

It’s Consumer Frenzy Day!

Happy Thanksgiving everyone – I am thankful that there are people out there that like my silly limericks…amongst many other blessings I have received (a great wife who knows me better than I know myself and still loves me anyway.)

Keep the faith and never lose your sense of humor. Those two things will always get you through.