A Collection of Limericks for #NationalGolfLoversDay

Exhilarating and dispiriting, thrilling and embarrassing, joyous and depressing — no activity on Earth encompasses the full emotional spectrum like golf — and that’s why we love it! This October 4, celebrate National Golf Lovers Day by recognizing one of the world’s most popular sports.

Hit the links and play a round as you enjoy a few competitive and friendly laughs with your fellow sufferers. While golf can drive even the greatest players completely bonkers, hitting just one good shot means you can’t wait to tee it up again. In other words, “just grip it and rip it.” – NationalToday.Com

When I’m standing on the first tee

It’s fun and adventure I see.

It’s the perfect setting

For utzing and betting…

Golf with friends is pure ecstasy!

utzing – Yiddish for “ball busting”

Golf is a game of grace and class

And when you’re playing well, golf is a gas.

For me, low scores are rare,

But I don’t really care…

I’m still on the right side of the grass!

And along those lines…

Ever since I turned 65 in 2017, I have tried to take advantage of “senior discounts.” Why not? There has to be some benefit to getting old. Most public golf courses offer a senior discount so your dollar will go farther even though you’re hitting ’em shorter…but there are senior tees to compensate for that. You literally and figuratively get more bang for your buck.

On this subject, I have expertise.

A senior discount is sure to please.

A low green fee price

Is awfully nice…

And so is playing from the senior tees.

And to all my senior friends and limerick lovers that play golf – Hit ’em long(?) and straight and not too often!

If you are married and your wife doesn’t play golf and can barely tolerate your playing, there are some boundaries that have to be respected. Here are some of them.

A packed leaderboard fills golf fans with glee.

The drama is something to see.

But golf widows concur

A sure insomnia cure

Is having to watch golf on TV.

This lesson is all about course management and the course of your marriage.

Golf’s a game that married men play.

For them, a lesson I learned the hard way.

Here’s a hazard to avoid –

She’ll be furious, not annoyed….

THERE’S HELL TO PAY WHEN YOU PLAY MOTHER’S DAY!

Now I am going to deliver a bit of satire and bawdiness to the subject. Golf and sex have so many common goals and so many references with a double entendre that I have to go there. I have an obligation as a limerick writer. And it led to these.

A friend lamented how the pandemic hurt his golf game. #Stayhomestaysafe did not get you out to the golf course despite golf actually being an activity that can have social distancing built into it provided that you walk and don’t take a golf cart. There’s a lot of room out there. But when all the room that you have is the living room, then you have to be creative. And have an open-minded, cool partner.

Not knowing when the next time you’ll play,

You can still work on your game every day.

And some “swinging” indoors

Will improve your scores….

Play Strip Putting – it will go a long way!!! …

to lowering your handicap and it made #STAYHOME #STAYHOMESTAYSAFE more fun

Bedroom golf is a really great game.

The thrill of a good up and down is the same.

Your partner will extol

Strokes going in the hole

And shower you with wild acclaim.

After which you will need to take a shower.