10 Years

10 years ago

We met

Before the Facebook Frenzy

Of online statuses

That could be updated

As often as one breathes.

10 years ago

We began talking...

Much before the Myspace mania

Of personalized playlists

And customized backgrounds

And where your first friend

Was Tom.

10 years ago

When I was 13

And you were 14

During the time of

Chatrooms

When AOL & MSN

Were the thing

To Do

It was an ordinary day

Much like any other

I was bored

And so were you

We were both there

With nothing to do.

I picked a random chatroom

And waited for it to connect

To the interwebs

The minute I was in

Just as suspected

My PC started dinging

With instant messages.

You happened to be one

Of the windows that popped up

I answered you

You answered me

And that is how...

It all began.

It's now 10 years later

And even though

We fell out of touch

For a while

Nothing's changed

You can still make me smile

The way you could

A decade ago

There was no...

Awkward silence

For us.

We just sort of

Picked up

Where...

We left off.

I remember

How you were

Back then...

Negative.

Dark.

Mysterious.

I remember

Your look.

That flippy-in-your-face

Hair.

Piercings,

You had that

I-don't-give-a-fuck

Attitude

That

Fuck-the-world

Look on life.

You were the kid

That slept in class

Throughout most of school

And only woke up for lunch.

School was not your thing

You were too cool for it.

Music was

Your only passion.

However, you never...

Acted in a bad way

Towards me

Not once.

The oddest pair

Of companions

No one would ever

Expect

The emo boy

Who loved metal and head banged

And the geeky, goody-two-shoes

The virgin girl

To hang out together

Much less be...

Boyfriend & Girlfriend.

No one would ever put you & I together

Two different birds

With different kinds of feathers.

I remember how I was

How I used to be

13, positive, bubbly, & bright-eyed

Not so much anymore

Not me.

Now you are

The positive one

And I've become straight bitter.

It's almost as if

We switched roles

You got some

Of my former positive outlook

I gained your old

Negativity & bitterness

After years of experience

With the world

And the people in it.

And now you share

Your story

With me

What got you here...

How you came to be.

It was just 8 years ago

In those woods

Where you attempted

The dirtiest of deeds

You pulled the trigger 8 times

And the gun refused to go off.

You took it

Away from your head

And shot straight up

In the air...

A 9th and final time.

The gun went off.

What the fuck

You were thinking

And...

At the moment...

You realized

It was clearly

Not meant to be.

Two years or so

Prior

You suffered from

A sawdust incident

A near-death experience

Where you lost

The ability to breathe

How horrifying

That must have been.

Wood shavings

Tearing holes

In your lungs

Piercing them

Causing them

To collapse

Your breathing...

Frantic, painful gasps.

After that

Traumatic experience

You weren't sure

Whether

You wanted to

Live or die

Or what

You were put on this Earth for

After that

You turned to Drugs

To escape

The pain

The horror

But the Drugs

Were not your friends

As you well know

The Drugs

Made things worse for you

With bad trips

Awful side effects

That could cause anyone

To wish they were dead.

Fast forward

Back to that fateful day

In the woods

Back to that moment

With your finger

On the trigger

Prepared to just...

End it all

Prepared to die

Prepared to fall

The ultimate escape.

Gun to your head

Final words said

You pulled the trigger.

Nothing.

Not thinking much of it,

You pull the trigger again...

Still nothing.

Confused, you pull it

3 additional times

Frustrated...

You pull it again

3 times more.

1. 2. 3.

Before switching your aim

From your head

To the sky

And pull the trigger

Once more

This time

It goes off.

And you watch the bullet fly so high

And you watch the bullet fly so high.

At that moment

You knew

This was clearly

Not the thing to do.

So, you turned back...

Headed home

Away from those dreadful woods.

Searching for an answer,

Seeking an alternate solution

To end

The bad feelings

And then

MUSIC found you again

And you...it.

It wrapped itself

Around you

And you were consumed.

5 years later

Little did you know

You'd be ask to show

Your true talent with the sticks

And to whom?

Why, to your favorite metal band

Of course!

Little did you know

How your audition

Would go

That 3 years later

You'd be with them still...

And playing shows.

You've found yourself now,

Yes I think that you have

Just a little

At least.

And I'm here to say

I'm so glad we reconnected

And not only that

I'm so thankful

That I can sit here

And talk to you

That I still have you

As my best friend

Alive and well

I know at one point

You were going through HELL

But I can honestly tell you

I'm so glad

Glad you didn't succeed

That day in the woods

With the dirtiest of deeds.

Cause who knows

If down the line...

You were meant to be...

More than simply another

Friend of mine?

I am glad

Because

I didn't even

Get

The awesome chance

To hug you yet!

I will end this poem this way

And say...

I thank God

For you

Each and every single day.