10 14 2019

A boy born within the concrete walls of a society bound to death.

I remember the crimson moon as it stalked me through what sometimes felt like ages. One thing I have known for sure for far too long is we are alone here. Inside our heads silence is a demon that can terrorize you. However you can find the soul of self and become enlightened by it. You can become one with it and all the beauty of the universe will flow through you.

You see now don't you? How the harder you try to open up to people the harder you will fall. The more you desire to show them the purest pieces of you the more contaminated it feels within. I stand in the fire of the crimson moon. The universe digs in deeper than ever before. Bones begin to crack and my nerves give in. I feel like a stranger in this crowded room full of thoughts. A low humming sings in my ears like static lost in the airwaves. The tv screen morphing it into delusional prophecies. I shiver in the shadows. For the crow beckons once again. I dig at the concrete walls until my nails break. The feelings surface. So I paint my skin with mud and I let it become the mask of all the shit I can't seem to shake. As nature pulls at me to return to the earth I see a witty beauty to all of this. How strange the laughter feels. In the intensity of chemical break down you feel like a hammer keeping my heart beating.

I know the future because I create it. I know the truth because it is what we decide. Perception is far beyond reality. It is a manifestation. I watch the weak drown in pestilence. In hatred and war. In self pity and self claimed defeat. I was once like you and now I know we are all the same. The rain is gentle as the madness courses through my eyes. Pacing back and forth. A shark hunting in the ocean. We are one.

I watch the horrors unfold. I remember it all sharp and quick. How easily I could sense it. the tragedies of the past weaving into the futures. I set fire to the bridge and watched our union die. I held the ashes in my hand and as thy brother nodded towards me I let go of it all. I walk without despair. I walk without hope. I walk fearless for pain and pleasure are the same. I am the protector. I tried to shed that skin. It will not be laid to rest until the forest claims me again. I am not done.