When it still lights you up

It is difficult for me to not feel and be lit up when I talk about my stays in Guatemala and Costa Rica. Central America had always been a place I wanted to go and venture to and it wasn’t until my early-mid 20s that I was able to do so. I was and still continue to be so drawn to the culture of the people, colors and textures of the land, the long lineage of unique history and of course, the food. Little did I know how much my heart would feel so connected to one place.

It was December 2018 and I had felt called to travel to Guatemala before going to Costa Rica. Same time the year prior, I was getting ready to embark on my yoga teacher training in Costa Rica for five weeks. Those five weeks flew by but changed my life entirely in the most profound way. I quickly yearned for more so there I was, packing up my bags to go back with a slight detour this time. I was going to stop in Guatemala before traveling further down south. Sometimes it’s hard to fully articulate my feeling in this place; it’s like the moment I touch down in the airplane or my feet step out of the airport, my whole entire body feels lit up and I’m smiling ear to ear. I suppose you could say I’m like a kid in a candy store, but it’s more than that — my heart feels home.

I spent my NYE there in Lake Atitlán to bring in the new year; and although I had fallen asleep a bit earlier due to flying in the day before, I had awakened to the sound of fireworks going off over my hostel room. I stepped outside just to get a glimpse of the commotion. Again, my heart lit up. Overhead were colorful fireworks lighting up the entire lake, people were dancing in the cafe of the hostel, and you could hear the cheer of ringing in the new year all around. It was those kind of moments that made me fall in love with Guatemala. The joy in sharing hugs and kisses, the way they celebrated, the music — from the drums to the shakers; everything was felt in that moment I stepped outside.

The next morning I wanted to explore that part of the lake. It seemed relatively small but still was big enough to ascend up and down the side of the mountain. I found myself walking along the cobbled pathway, walking slowly, admiring the artisans on each side of the walkway. Some had beautiful handwoven blankets with colors and patterns unique to their culture, some had handmade jewelry with various palettes made from crystals and stones, some were farmers selling their local veggies and fruits or native foods. All the meanwhile, I’m in awe. Not only because of everything I was walking along but I realized that this is all so different than what I am used to back in the US. And in that same moment, I knew I could never go back and be the same.

My eyes had began to open and I wanted to see more of what Guatemala had to offer. I took a TukTuk to see farther than I could walk in a day and it allowed me to finally use my Spanish in a casual conversation. His name forgets me now but I remember him talking about living there, where I should go and why he is proud to be Guatemalan. It was a sweet exchange, but that is just how it is. You feel like family when talking to the native people there. They welcome you, they don’t mind sharing where you should go and they want to make sure you too are interacting with the local people the appropriate way too. An equal and cordial exchange both between them and you, an exchange that traveled with me on that whole trip.

My time there sort of just went like that. I remember feeling on cloud nine that day and telling myself I wouldn’t wait any longer to move out of California to somewhere new. I had found where my heart felt like home and I couldn’t look back. I have not returned since but I know I will return to these lands. My heart pulls there every time I bring up a photo or someone even mentions the place. My friends or even strangers say, “Gee you really do light up when you talk about Guatemala or Costa Rica?!”, and I know with every nerve in my body it’s true. My life has changed in so many ways due to these trips to Central America.

When I reflect back to my time there, it was the in between moments that allowed me to fall in love with this place. The way the TukTuk guy smiled while driving waving at every person he knew along the way, the quick pet of a dog roaming the streets, it is the breath taken at the top of an active volcano after walking for 3 hours along its side, it is sun peering down on your face just enough through the branches hanging over the cafe patio as you enjoy your lunch. It was every moment that allowed me to feel most present and most in my body that made me feel like home.

And with that, I’d love to end on my favorite poem I came across upon leaving to go back home from this trip. It just fit.

”maybe the answer

isnt going

to be found

anywhere else

other than

right here

there is always

going to be somewhere

new

and there is always

going to be

a return

the return

has to be valued

as lived

as the leaving

because one place

is any place

and any place

is home.” - Taylor Mae @earth.tay.sky

See you soon xoxo