The Seasons of Our Lives

We all want our lives to be perfect. Sometimes the unexpected gets in the way.

The Fall season in Oregon's Willamette valley brings with it a deluge of inclement weather. Days and even weeks of heavy rain are not unheard of. Overcast days and cooler temperatures prevail.

In addition to the dismal weather, my wife had recently been diagnosed with a serious medical condition and our stress levels were high. We were looking for a way to unwind.

Any break in the persistent cloud cover that allows the sun to peak through is highly appreciated. It begs to be taken advantage of.

On one of these rare days my wife and I decided to take a nice country drive north to a small town called Mount Angel. On a hill just outside of town is a Benedictine monastery called Mount Angel Abby.

Even though it was a chilly day, being outside in a calm and somewhat spiritual atmosphere would do us a world of good.

Anyone can walk the tranquil campus grounds. From this hilltop vantage point there is a great view of several Oregon vineyards and local farms in the valley below.

This time of year the grapes have been harvested and the leaves on the vines have turned a vibrant yellow as they prepare to drop off. I had my camera and was hoping to get some images of the colorful vineyards below.

Once we arrived at the Abby we spent a few reverent minutes in the monasteries very beautiful chapel. Any carpenter would appreciate the up close look at some ornately carved woodwork that can be found throughout the building. The attention to detail is amazing. There is also a very grand pipe organ inside for those who appreciate such musical things as this.

Once we left the chapel, we walked the campus grounds. Hand in hand we strolled, we talked, we hugged and we even did our share of crying. It was the emotional release we both so desperately needed.

We were sitting on an outside bench where we had just finished a very deep conversation concerning future plans. My wife got up and started walking toward an area she was wanting to explore. I saw the opportunity for a good shot and decided to take it before I got up. As luck would have it a slight breeze lifted her overcoat just as I snapped the image. It was a great accent to a good photo.

I caught up with her and we continued on with our day.

When I finally got around to looking at the images I had taken on that day I came across this one. (the one I posted)

For some reason this image hit me hard on an emotional level. At the time I didn't know why. There was something about it I didn't fully understand. Over time it became clearer. This is how I now see it.

My wife, with her back toward me, is walking off alone and lost in her personal thoughts. As much as I want to be a part of what she is experiencing, I realize it's impossible to fully comprehend the emotional turmoil she is going through. I may be her husband, but she is the one experiencing this health issue. I'm an outsider doing my best to give her someone to hang onto in those dark moments of despair.

Metaphorically speaking, the blustery day and the fallen leaves she is passing through represents the current turmoil in her life. The split path represents the personal journey she is on. The doors to the right represent the main stream medical establishment. The left, the one she has chosen leads her into an unknown future.

When I first saw this image, the thought hit me that I might actually lose her. My thoughts flashed back to our life together and all that we've been through, all that we've shared up until this point. After more than forty years together I can't bare the thought of not having her in y life.

At this point we're still together, still fighting against the odds. We treat every day as a new beginning. We don't dwell on the past. We only look forward to a bright future together.

I will always cherish this image no matter what the future holds.

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