A Miraculous Moment I thought Would Never Happen

I still remember the exactly moment this photograph was taken, when I was able to touch my baby daughter for the first time after her birth. I couldn't stop smiling, thinking to myself, I can't believe I have a daughter.

A nurse had wheeled my baby in from Neonatal Care, so that I could see her whilst I was recovering. I could barely move, having been stitched up and covered in bandages. I was high as a kite on strong painkillers, and the euphoria was like no other feeling. I couldn't believe her beautiful little face. She was just perfect.

I had gone into labour early, and she was born 8 weeks early, to be exact. We were shuttled from one hospital to another in an ambulance, when the attempts to slow the labour ultimately failed, and the first hospital had no beds available. I was given steroids to strengthen the baby's lungs. Then, I was put under observation to be kept in overnight, and suddenly, at a little after midnight on the 24th May 2010 she went into distress, and I was told I would need to sign papers to be wheeled across to the theatre for an emergency caesarean section. I was terrified. I even asked a nurse if I was going to die. Printouts were flying out of the machine next to me, and several nurses were talking urgently. But I couldn't decipher what was going on.

It's still incredible to me how quickly that all happened. I remember calling my then-partner to tell him what was happening, as he had just been taken home by his brother, and it was a 45 minute drive.

Within fifteen minutes or so, I was shaved down below, given an agonising epidural in the base of my spine, to numb everything. I can remember the doctor telling me to stay very still when they put the injection in, and I moaned and nearly crumpled with the pain, but they kept me upright as long as was needed, and then I was laid down and a 'tent' was put up over my midsection, so that they could birth my daughter.

I didn't feel any pain, but I remember the odd sensations of tugging and pulling inside me. Again, isn't modern medicine incredible? I remember seeing blood, and thinking, Oh, that's mine, but I felt weirdly detached from what was happening. All I wanted was for my baby to be alright.

By the time my partner came back, our daughter had been checked, and scored an incredible 9 out of 10 on the Apgar scale, which is how they rate the health of a new baby. There were lots of tears, joy, and disbelief that she was finally here. We had a daughter!

We hadn't even known the sex of the baby, and I had assumed I was having a boy, as she was big for her age, and a kicker! I will never forget the 'Lion King' moment of one of the surgeons holding my baby up once they had birthed her, and telling me, "You have a baby daughter!" I cried tears of joy.

Now, she is 14, and taller than me. She is intuitive, creative, hilarious, sharp, funny, wise, kind, and quirky. She brought a love to my life that has surpassed everything. I understand completely why people say that you never forget the birth of your first.

I never managed to have any more children, but I don't mind too much. Ellie is my miracle. For years I had fertility issues, with endometriosis causing complications, and touching my baby's cheek for the first time, was something that for over six years I thought would never happen for me.