Who Gets the Pets When a Couple Divorces?

For many couples, the hardest part of separating isn’t dividing the furniture, the savings accounts, or even the house. It’s deciding who gets the pets. Dogs, cats, birds, and other pets are part of the family.

Pets comfort us through stress, greet us at the door, and become part of our daily rhythm. So when a relationship ends, the question of “Who gets the pets?” becomes deeply personal and complicated.

When a couple divorces, most states divide what has been accumulated during the marriage between the husband and wife.

Most states still classify pets as property, the same category as a table, couch, or car. But anyone who has ever loved an animal knows that pets are not objects.

Pets Matter in Divorce

The law may call pets “property,” but anyone who has ever loved an animal knows better. When a relationship ends, that gap between what the law says and what the heart feels becomes painfully clear. Pets are companions, family members, and emotional anchors. Unfortunately, judges cannot automatically grant custody when a couple gets a divorce.

How Courts Traditionally Decide Pet Ownership

Historically, courts have looked at pets through a property lens. That means judges often consider:

• Who purchased the pet
• Whose name is on the adoption or registration papers
• Who paid for veterinary care, food, and grooming
• Who has been the primary caregiver

This approach can feel cold, especially when both partners have bonded deeply with the animal. But it’s the legal framework many states still use.

Shift Toward “Best Interest of the Pet”

In most states, judges cannot grant custody to either party of the couple, or joint custody to both, as if pets were children. Therefore, more couples are negotiating pet arrangements before going to court for the best interest of the pet. Some even create “pet parenting plans” that outline schedules, responsibilities, and financial agreements.

Under this approach, courts may look at the following trend that reflects a cultural truth that pets are family:

• Who spends more time with the pet
• Who can provide a more stable home environment
• Whether one partner has a stronger emotional bond with the animal
• Whether the pet has special needs that one partner is better equipped to handle

What Couples Can Do Before It Gets Complicated

Even couples who never expect to separate can benefit from planning ahead. A simple written agreement can prevent conflict later. Consider including both the couple and the animal:

• Who the pet lives with
• How expenses are shared
• What happens if one partner moves
• Whether visitation or shared custody is allowed

When There Are Children

Some couples successfully share custody, especially when they part on good terms. Others find that constant hand‑offs create stress for the pet or reopen emotional wounds for the family that is no longer together.

It is especially painful for children. Some people argue that if there are children, pets should stay with them.

To date, all 50 states consider pets as property. Only a few states, including Alaska, California, Illinois, and New York, have adopted laws allowing judges to consider a pet's well-being. It acknowledges that pets have emotional needs and that their stability matters.

However, the bottom line is that a couple should make plans for their pet before going to court.

Author's Note

The information in this article is not from a judge, lawyer, or anyone in a legal profession. It is based on research. Therefore, if you are considering what to do with your pet in a divorce, contact a lawyer in your state.