When it comes to rearing a puppy, there are four things you should know

Recently, my husband and I took in a puppy named Ginny. Getting a dog has been a dream of ours for a long time, and we were so excited when Ginny came home. I had a dog as a child, so I thought I knew what to expect. I didn't, though. I was not right. I've learned a lot about how to raise a puppy in the last few months, and it hasn't been at all what I thought it would be.

You should be better prepared if you got a puppy, or if something like this happened to you, if you got one. You can do this!

1. You might not love your puppy right away

I feel bad saying that but it took me some time to love Ginny. I had this romantic idea that we would bring this puppy home and she would be adorable and we would fall madly in love with her. No matter what mistakes or blunders she might make, we would love her so much that it would not matter. Even if she destroyed our favourite shoes or peed in the house. We would spend hours just lovingly gazing into each other’s eyes. Needless to say, that is not what happened.

I had a dog growing up and, when I moved away from home, one of the hardest things was to leave her behind. She was such a huge part of my life and I didn’t get to see her every day like I used to. So when Ginny came into our lives, I expected to feel the same amount of love for her that I felt for my childhood dog. But I didn’t. The truth is, you can’t fall in love with a stranger, human or animal. You have to learn to know them first, to understand how they think, what their quirks are, what they love and hate.

I felt a lot of shame when I realized that I didn’t love Ginny in the first few weeks she was home. I wondered if we had made a mistake, if she would really fit in our lives or if she was just a nuisance that I had to take outside every half hour to make sure she didn’t soil our carpets.

But then I did fall in love with her. I learned who she was and our relationship grew. She learned to trust me and listen to me (most of the time). She went from being an inconvenience to a member of our family. And since learning to love her, the amount of love I feel for her is hard to describe.

If you’ve recently gotten a puppy and are struggling because you don’t feel like you’re bonding with them, don’t feel bad. It’s normal. It takes time, like any relationship.

2. Their behaviours are not forever

This is both a good and a bad thing.

When we first brought Ginny home, she never barked or growled and, while she mouthed at our hands, she never really bit. We thought we had adopted the perfect dog. We then learned that dogs don’t really start barking until 16 weeks. Ginny found her voice around that time. And her playful nips rapidly evolved into painful bites. So we learned that it’s not because she has never done something that she’ll never do it.

On the flip side, I used to dramatize and believe that every little thing she did was part of her personality and something we would have to deal with for her whole lives. For a while, we couldn’t pet her without her biting us. I started to worry that we would have a mean dog that no one would be able to approach without being bitten. But it only lasted some time, probably because she was teething, and now she’s one of the cuddliest dogs I have ever met and only bites when she wants to play. Another time, she stopped listening to me entirely and would not respond to the commands that she had picked up just the day before. I, therefore, assumed that she had entered teenagehood and that she would be like that for the foreseeable future. It turned out that she was just having a bad day and went back to being her usual self the next day.

So we’ve learned that things change and that there is no use in worrying about specific behaviours. With work and patience, we will be able to shape her into the dog we want her to be.

3. You’ll change your mind… a lot

Before adopting a dog, I had a lot of ideas about how I would raise a dog. I judged other people based on the choices they were making for their pets. I used to think that crates were inhumane and that I would never force my dog to sleep in a cage. Two days after bringing Ginny home, we bought a crate and it’s one of the best things I’ve ever purchased. I did some research and found that dogs enjoy having a space that is their own and reminds them of a den. It’s also a great tool for housebreaking as dogs will not soil the inside of their homes. And it allows me to leave Ginny alone at home for an hour or two knowing that she won’t get in any trouble.

I also thought that I would do just minimal training to ensure that she’s well-behaved. However, I find that she is so eager to learn that I end up teaching her tricks just because they’re fun or cute. I’m even considering taking her to puppy school so she can learn some more.

As they say, “no plan survives first contact”. You can make plans and have ideas about how to raise your dog but you have to adapt to what your dog needs and wants. You have to be willing to change your mind and find better ways to do things.

4. You’ll make mistakes… and that’s okay

Raising a puppy is hard. It’s very involved and you have to learn so many things. From one moment to the next, you are in charge of another living being and your life will never be the same. You’ll read books and articles and watch videos and try to do your best to raise a well-behaved and happy dog. But there is a lot of conflicting advice out there. And there are things that you won’t be able to implement. You’ll make mistakes. And then you’ll think that that one mistake will have ruined your dog’s education. But it won’t. It’s a work in progress and you’re doing the best you can. As long as your puppy is fed and has a warm place to sleep, it will be alright.