The Antics of My Crazy Doberman Dog

In a previous life, I had a Doberman called "Tai." Like most Dobermans, the sight of him instilled fear in people because of their reputation. 

Many are just gentle, giant softies if they are not trained to be guard dogs. 

This was the case with Tai; he would lick you to death before anything else!

He had a great heart and just wanted to be friends with everyone. Unfortunately, obedience was not one of his strong points. He had a mind of his own when it came to obedience and the attention span of a gnat!

I remember one sunny September day. We were in the front, gardening - well, I was gardening, he was soaking up the sun as only dogs can. 

Tai was flat out on his side, without a care in the world.

Dogs seldom really sleep soundly, always half alert with one eye open. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw this guy cycling past on his bike. For some reason, he took a shine to him, and it was on.

Follow the leader

"Tai, come back here, come here!" I cried out in vain. 

Tai was long gone up the road after this guy.

As the cyclist sensed a Doberman charging after him, he panicked and pedaled faster, as if he had started a sprint race in the Olympics. This only made him more interesting to Tai.

He just accelerated after him, chasing him down the middle of the road. Going to the cyclist's aid, I took off after Tai, yelling to him to "come here" with little or no effect.

I had visions of the guy crashing his bike into a fence or wrapping himself around a tree, and having to pay some huge medical bill.

This procession - the cyclist pedaling as fast as he could for dear life, Tai in hot pursuit, thinking this was a great game, and a red-faced unfit owner bringing up the rear - continued for about 400 meters.

At this point, bored with the proceedings, Tai made a left turn into the garden of a poor, unsuspecting man washing his car, much to the cyclist's relief. 

He didn't really like water, so I have no idea what attracted him.

By the time I caught up, Tai was sitting comfortably in the back seat of the guy's car, panting after his run down the road. 

The unsuspecting guy who had been cleaning his car was peering out through the blinds of his house.

After much apologizing and assuring the guy that he was completely harmless despite his looks, the guy cautiously ventured back outside. I am not sure he believed me.

I chastised Tai the whole way home but had the distinct impression that underneath his breath, he was just muttering, 

"Yeah, yeah, blah blah blah, what are you going to do about it!"

After his morning adventure, he casually went inside for a drink and a nap.

The cyclist was long gone, and I doubt he ever came down that road again. 

Obedience school it is

I had to do something about Tai's behavior, and although he had been to puppy school, not much of what he learned seemed to have stuck (if anything). I booked him into a specific obedience training school for Dobermans.

We went to the first training session. I felt out of place because the others had already had two sessions, so they were much further advanced than us. Tai seemed very unimpressed with the whole show. 

Ultimately, the trainer reiterated that the road to success was through practice. I somehow did not hold high hopes for that.

In the following week, we managed to do a few practices, and for a moment, I thought maybe I was winning.

We had no sooner arrived at the next session when Tai decided to start limping. I knew there was nothing wrong with his leg because, on the way over, he had been bouncing from one side of the car to the other, barking his head off.

The instructor did not see it that way. 

"There is something wrong with your dog's leg; you must stop and go to the vet."

Getting Tai to the vet was no mean feat - he hyperventilated every time we got near the place.

"He is fine. He just does not want to do the training," I pleaded.

Unswayed, the instructor banned us from taking any more classes until I returned with a vet certificate to say he was fine!

As soon as we left, you guessed it, Tai was bounding all over the place, full of bravado because he had outsmarted me.

"You damn dog, what have I done to you?" 

"Can't you at least try to be good for once?"

"Don't you, worry, buddy; we are going to the vet tomorrow, then we will see who is smarter."

He looked at me, cocked his head, and barked as if to say, 

"We'll see."

Till next time, thanks for reading,

Calvin