The Angel in the Shaggy Fur

It was in the summer of 2016 when I first laid eyes on ‘Little White Wolf’ A.K.A. ‘Wolfy’. My darling son, who was 14 at the time, was struggling with mental health issues, bound in an internal darkness that comes from deep depression and loneliness. My broken mama-heart was looking for ways to navigate him along this dark path and I cried out to the universe for help.

Wolfy appeared to me one night in a dream, as an answer to my prayer. In the dream, he was carried into my childhood family home by a large Saint Bernard wearing a collar inscribed with the word ‘companion’, these two dogs were looking for a place of refuge, escaping a huge storm that was bearing down on them. I noticed this little white ‘wolf’ puppy had a distinct mark on his nose, like a lesion of some sort, this mark would serve as a defining feature for the puppy I’d soon be searching for. I awoke from my sleep with a sense that this dream provided the answer in the form of a companion puppy; dogs were known to be man’s best friend so of course this made perfect sense to me, a guardian angel in shaggy fur!

Have you ever noticed that when an answer presents itself on life’s journey, that there are often roadblocks and opposition to push through? It was like a testing; did I really believe my intuition and the dream it presented? Would I acknowledge and honour the force of ancient wisdom hidden inside of me? We all know that still small voice don’t we, the one that encourages you to step out on the water, the one that provides a glimmer of hope in the storms in life. For me, the opposition came in the form of my life partner of 16 years who was NOT supportive of my solution. He was more of a cat person (not that it really matters, I love cats too), but he was certainly not a big fan of dogs, and we were in the process of selling our house and moving, so another distraction, another expense, was not an idea he would entertain. How many of you guys know that when your wife gets an idea so strong, there is no force of nature on earth that will stop her from fulfilling her dream or vision or desire, especially when it involves her children; insert mama bear mode, with a heart fierce enough that she will die for her children!

So, the search began, and I was determined to find this puppy, daily scouring the pet group pages, hoping for a glimpse of this little white angel sent to be my boy’s companion. I eventually found my ‘Little White Wolf’ an hour’s drive away, so I secured him with a deposit of cash and a piece of my soul; he was the hope of my heart for my son’s breakthrough into freedom again.

We arrived at the address and headed out the back to where Wolfy was being kept. In the yard we found the mama dog, a gorgeous grey malamute and her two remaining rambunctious pups. That day, I experienced a sadness and deep empathy that only a mother would understand. Here were two strangers, who after a short time would leave, taking with them one of her babies, like the three other times before us. I get emotional even now, remembering the sacrifice beautiful mama dogs make for us when we are looking for that furry addition to our homes. I knelt near the mama and took her head into my hands, and forehead to forehead, I promised her that I would always take care of her son, that he was to be the guardian of my boy and I showed her great reverence and honour, mama-heart to mama-heart. As a side note, I was happy to hear the people were keeping the last pup for themselves, family is important regardless of species.

So that was the beginning of our story, it is important as it highlights a bond that goes much deeper than just a family pet. Wolfy and my son had many adventures, and being a malamute, Wolfy loved to pull, he was strong and clever. My son would tie him to the front of his mountain bike, and they would go off on adventures. They loved going to the beach and frolicking in the water and being the gorgeous dog he is, bouncy and fun-loving, other dogs and their people would often approach them which also had a positive affect on bringing my son out of his loneliness and into connecting with lots of wonderful people. My son has a heart of gold, can you tell I’m a proud and grateful mama? Wolfy really was the most wonderful gift and slowly I saw my son become more confident and the sparkle return to his eyes. Having a dog gave him a purpose and also a responsibility that you could say was the catalyst unleashing him from the constant focus of his inner turmoil. Wolfy lifted my son’s gaze to see that there was indeed beauty, fun and friendship through their relationship and adventures together.

It’s been five years now, and my son no longer lives with us, he’s off on his own life adventures. Wolfy has become my constant companion, he is now my guardian angel. I will always honour the pact I made with his mama to take care of him. Wolfy takes care of me too, his big brown eyes show me unconditional love and a loyalty, so cherished after a broken marriage crushed my soul and caused me to grieve for the dreams I once had. It is Wolfy who bounces up to me each day, with his big smile and clownish malamute ways, if you own a malamute, you know exactly what I’m talking about! He’s the giant loving soul that holds my heart in friendship and warms my lap with big teddy bear hugs. He protects my family with his big voice, and as a single mama I am grateful for that big voice that guards our home. He encourages me on, to enjoy life through our adventurous walks and runs, in fact, it is my dream to try dogsledding, harnessing him up to a special scooter, maybe even a sled in winter, woo-hoo, I feel the exhilaration just thinking about the rush of charging down a country path or through the snow! But that’s a story for another day.