Rules for Having a Dog

So you want to become a dog owner, huh? You might be thinking it’s the easiest thing in the world.

Well…it is! It’s super easy. However, if you want to enjoy the full dog owner experience, there are a few rules you must follow.

Oh, and who am I to claim the power to decree these rules?

I have 11 dogs. I have always had many dogs.

That’s it. Those are my credentials.

And that’s not all: my dogs have trained me well. They have taught me everything there is to know about having a furry friend in your life. Keep on reading, for I’m about to share all of my wisdom.

Talk to them

Ok, so your dogs are in front of you. What are you going to do next? Just pet them on the head? Really?

No, pal. You have to talk to them. Say, “good morning, how are you?”

Now, to go pro, you have to make them answer you. How? You make voices!

Perhaps your dog will say, “gee, I don’t know, I was a bit cold last night. You could invest in a cozier bed for me, you know?” Maybe another one of your pets will add, “oh, I think I’m allergic to fur, you should schedule an appointment with the vet, just in case.”

These conversations can become very interesting, provided you go all in. Your dogs will help by staring at you and wagging their tails at the right moments.

Oh, are you worried people will think you are crazy? If you ask your dog, he will be able to provide excellent advice on how to deal with that.

Learn where to scratch them

Pooches need their bellies to be rubbed. That’s a fact. If you refuse to comply, you might find pee all over your furniture.

However, please, keep in mind other areas also require your attention

For example, have you scratched right behind their ears? Have you rubbed their hips? No?

What are you waiting for? Your puppy needs you to care.

Learn what can kill them

As a pet owner, part of the job is to keep them alive. There are many things you will have to keep away from them, no matter how much they beg you. For example:

For a more detailed list, you can go here.

Learn to love the fur

You might start seeing little dog hairs everywhere, especially in the summer. It helps if you regularly bathe your pet and if you brush his fur every day. Still, make no mistake:

There will be hair.

And it will show up in the most unexpected of places, typically at inconvenient times. I suggest you brush it off and keep going with your day.

Have fun!

Dogs have an average life span of 10 years.

It sucks.

How is it possible that such magnificent creatures get to live for so few years? Therefore, I suggest you make the most of it.

Make it a point to have fun with them, to get to know their quirks, to learn all of the lessons they can give you. After all, a dog’s love will always be unconditional. I believe the least we can do is to show some respect to the furry friends that share their lives with us and drive us crazy with their antics.

And I should know! My dogs told me all about it…

Originally published by me on Musing About...