Naked in the Forest

A strange noise resonated through the house and I awoke.

What was this curious sound I was hearing? It wasn’t from the road nor the interdimensional food dispenser. Curled up on the cushion, I opened my eyes. Smelling the scent of dirty clothes which lingered in a nearby room, I chose to inspect. And there it was, the strange hairless dog who stood upon two legs. Yes, nearly a week had passed but the one I’d come to know as my culinary artist, and adventure companion, was returning from his voyage in the dream world.

I entered the section of the home I so graciously allowed my companion to use. “Hello. Yes, you.” I gestured with the long appendage located at my hindquarters swaying back and forth. “I’d be delighted if you’d indulge my desire to relieve myself on the estate grounds.” I barked, placing my nose near the large sleeping pad my servant had moved into his section of my domain.

With a groan and moan, he rolled over and placed his meaty hook upon my head. Oh, how I wished I could take a bite. But oh how great it felt. As culture would permit, I drooled upon the carpet: a gesture of politeness.

By my side and under my protection we exited the living chambers and strolled to the Cliffs of Community. Nearly thirty feet, I soared through the air. The wind at my back, I landed upon the birchwood. The hairless dog whom I’ve before mentioned may claim it to be only two feet, but the other gentle wolves cheering me on upon the path know the truth.

Proudly, I pranced into the woods to write my story upon the trees and grass of these noble lands. Generous I was, leaving a delicate treat for the other gentle wolves who may embark on my same journey.

What’s that? A whistle. This must mean I’m due for a congratulations on my novel. Perhaps a pat for my endowment. Leaping over fallen trees, I ran, and there he was uttering something bizarre from his mouth flaps. I suppose his jowls weren’t properly formed at birth. Poor sod. “What’s that? An adventure you say! You mean we can…” I look around to see Bernard sporting a lavishing lanyard. “Of course, we can go for a hike… Great suggestion.”

Across the Dunes of Vollballen, we traveled. The trek was brief and sandy, but across those sacred grounds, we found ourselves in the presence of the forest’s guardian. A creature to this day I know not his origin nor his purpose. The hairless dog being climbed upon the still green body, his meaty paws clanging against the hardened surface. I roared a ferocious roar, yet the guardian of the forest remained unphased. A stalemate yet again.

Sprinting upon the path, I ran to a fallen tree of which the monsters we do not speak of used to cross the stream. Sheering the cliff face, I managed to make it to the Oaken Aisle. My companion made it seem easy, he’s certainly a master of traversing that which would have been a near-fatal climb for those of my kin.

The open air filled my lungs as I sprinted to the Gates of the Emerald Gardens. Wait what was that? Intriguing. There along the path, I found an interesting piece of literature. A green plant, its leaves soaked in the words of traveler long past. Emersed in its stories, I stood. Like a child cradled in the arms of its elder, I listened to every note. That was until my four-legged, hairless mutant being yelled in my direction. “Yes my friend, I am on my way.” Little did he know, I was not.

A few moments later, he arrived to warn me of an enemy approaching from the south. Gripping the fur upon my back with meated claw, he… “Ow. Okay, I’m coming, damnit.” He suggested we move along the trail. I happily obliged, the benevolent being I am.

Along the trail, we trekked until reaching a clearing. Yes, the lands the legend foretold, The Grateful Gorge. Other strange mutant abominations walked along the flattened rocks singing songs to each other. Such a strange culture these beings possess. Yet, me, a wolf of sophistication, communicated back. They seemed to have liked my kind rendition, a song native to my people, as they patted me upon the head. Oh, how I enjoyed every moment. Permitting them to cease their servitude, I found runes etched into the stone. A member of my family bone? No, just Reginald and his abhorrent malefactor, Barktholomew.

Later, I allowed my companion to lead ahead, a wise decision as he led us to a canyon river. I listened as the water flowed against the rocks, and he a dimwitted being, stood upon the shore, unable to feel the ecstasy which was drinking from such a current. To drink the scent of petrichor, a luxury mankind would never know.

Turning back to dry land, I witnessed the hairless dog fleeing slowly from what must have been a frightening beast. I assumed it must have ran as soon as it heard me step upon the dirt, a keen predator I am.

Into the valley we went, hiking upward to another path. Gnarled trees twisted overhead as we made way to yet another fallen tree. I listened as the babbling brook curled underneath. What a pleasant sound. “Yes, I’m coming.” I barked as my companion fled from yet another animal amongst the trees. Coward.

Winding through the forest, we made our way to the Oak at the Pond. Oddly enough, there were several Oak trees. A terrible name. However, the sight was quite beautiful and the bark, Quite tasty. Trying my paw at veganism, I continued along the trail, the appendage of the arboreous being resting upon my tongue. “Excuse me! What are you doing with…” He threw it ahead, a tradition I must have since forgotten. Oh yes, a game of fetch, as he’d call it. I ran. With paws upon ground, I sprinted to the fabled Steps of Concretus.

After a calamitous climb, I reached the top. My breath escaping, my heart beating near the brink of death, I… Wait a moment, where are you… Oh, dear dog.

The fierce adventurer I am, I continued unphased by the mountain I had just ascended. The ground now hard as rock, as cool as winter itself, we made way to the estate grounds. Oh good, yet another stair… What’s this? My abomination of companion had lifted me into the air. Yes, I would prefer you to carry me up these steps. He must have been deranged from the hike. Don’t you know you exhaust energy doing that? When will have yet another successful hunt? Poor idiot.

Lowered to the terrace, the door to my domain opened. What sorcery? There within my food basin laid a feast. And my magical rain hollow? Filled to the brim. I never knew how it came to be, but every time my thirst came about me, every time my belly ached, I wanted not for anything.

Naked upon my bed, I sprawled out, allowing nature’s perfume to amend whatever bizarre stench came from the miniature torchlight.

And there within my opulent abode, I rest my eyes. A day surely deserving of memory. Thank you.

In loving dedication to my beloved fourteen-year-old Rhodesian Ridgeback of a mutt, Astro.