My Snotty Little Sidekick

Calypso will be turning 8 years old in two weeks and for little French Bulldogs that’s basically 100 years old. Stop staring at me! Don’t look too closely at my face because you may catch the tears.

Lifting my chin, keeping my glossy eyes up, showing my best crooked smile, I hold my dog up like baby Simba to you all.

I never intended to have a snotty little sidekick become my best friend. When I realized my new partner would be a Frenchie, I did the research and investigative work. Women, you know what I’m talking about when I give you the shifty eyes and say “investigative work” - it’s the same energy I gave to my prospective new dog. I spent days on google clicking links about dietary restrictions, health concerns, average lifespan (that one bummed me out) and what to do with a whole dog essentially.

I don't think I'm a nurturing type of person. That's probably not my first muscle. From the moment this 8-week-old-big-head-macaroni-noodle rolled out of her crate in my backseat, the irrational need to make sure she has the most amazing, unique, and equally rewarding journey for the next 10 years (this is the AVERAGE?) was a very powerful force that awakened in me. I was shocked. This was my first time being responsible for another breathing thing bigger than a chinchilla. Not by much but still. Mom, I’d like to go home now because being an adult is a lot. It was scary but do you know how hard it is to find a non-judgmental super happy best friend? It’s worth the work.

Anyway, I introduce you to my best friend; the drool to my yummy food, the baby arms to my T-Rex, the wind to my hurricane, the stem to my flower… She is that ingrained, that necessary, and that active of a participant in OUR journey. She has watched me lose friends and continue to show off that lop-sided smile for me. She has allowed me to fall short with mistakes while continuing to simply love me; weird, I know.

Look, Calypso has happily eaten two cans of tuna when we were poor, I am absolutely sure she’s at Ride or Die status about now. She deserves to be celebrated and this is the perfect time for a little celebration.

Her smile may be confused with the beginning symptoms of a stroke, but don’t be concerned because she’s just so dang happy to meet you. She makes my life easier, happier, and funnier. I’m still trying to figure out what exactly I do to contribute to her life other than maybe a good meal and some snuggles. The journey hasn’t ended yet – I’ll figure it out.

Now, since her birthday is coming up, I thought why not highlight some of the things that this little gangster has done to make my life easier, happier, and sillier.

Well, here are some bright and wonderful moments in the past 8 years:

1. She has watched many California sunsets, slept next to the beach in the Cayman Islands, and chased ducks near the Chattahoochee in Georgia. We move a lot. She once partied on a San Francisco ferry boat, peed in Miami Intl. Airport, and slept in a few questionable hotels outside of Charlotte/Douglas Intl. Airport.

2. Calypso once got kidnapped…dognapped? It's because she's just so darn cute. Cue my nervous laugh at the close call of my possible arrest for fighting a 6ft tall punk with spectacles... Tip about Calypso: she will say hello to ANYONE willing to give her a tummy rub.

3. She fearlessly jumped into the ocean to chase a seagull – only to quickly stare at me for help because her big head made her sink. I discovered she was not one of those rare Frenchies that can swim, and now it’s “life jackets all around!” when we’re close to a pool or beach.

4. She WILL fetch, but only when your enthusiasm for her outweighs her actually needing to fetch for you. She’s only happy if you’re happy and none of that fake “go, get it!” either.

5. This fancy lady only sleeps under the sheets. I know, that’s 100% class. The compassion and understanding that she has a bit of a snoring “issue” also makes her socially aware. Admitting you have a problem is the first step.

6. We both discovered that chewing up a cannabis-infused vape pen in California will give you an early night in bed followed by 2 bowls of water at 3am. I hugged and petted her the whole time.

7. She ate a milk chocolate bunny once and did NOT die.

8. She ate her mother’s brand-new shoes right out of the box and did NOT die.

I know I’ve listed a lot of semi-scary things that she has faced. It’s because these were all lessons for me, and some of the most emotionally heightened moments with her. It was in these moments where the focus, love, and care for my best friend was amplified because of my fear of losing her. She has had an amazing life (I think) and even now she gleefully rips into her pirate toy and drags the teddy-bear carcass across the floor to her doggy bed without a care or worry.

Calypso is getting tired these days. I see it. It makes me sad. But I can’t forget that she still licks me when I cry, gives me space when I’m mad, wiggles her butt when I dance, and watches my back when I sleep. I’m not crying, you are - leave me alone…Calypso is the Oscar to my Grouch, the Gummy to my Bear, the buttons to my – should I still continue, or do you think I’ve exemplified the spirit of my dog enough?

This is Calypso. She's my best friend. Thank you for letting me celebrate her.