How to Move On

I swear, my beloved dog had a Human Spirit. Pixie was my first dog. I had the privilege of having her as a part of my life and calling her my dog. She was one of the most attentive, loving and intelligent dogs I have ever encountered. Yes, she knew more than a handful of tricks; however, her kindness and consideration towards her family is what made her smart. When she passed away, my whole family’s heart shattered into pieces. It was one of the hardest losses we had dealt with. Who was going to lick our tears away and make us smile with joy, now? We felt broken.

There is no right way on how to move on from the loss of your dearest pet. When a member of your family passes away, it feels impossible to move on. You spend time thinking about whether or not you made the right decision and you feel immense guilt for making the decision for your helpless pet. The emptiness in your home pains you. The lack of love in your home pains you.

Pixie got diagnosed with a pharyngeal tumor in January of 2020. It was so tough to tell that she was sick – she was Pixie, at all times. When she got unbearably sick, making the decision to put her down was the hardest of any decision I have ever had to make in my life. I felt so guilty. What is she wasn’t ready to go? Or even worse, what if she was aching to go sooner but my family and I held on too long? Were we selfish? Although these thoughts are normal and inevitable, they are not supposed to break you down but allow you to think and grow. It is paramount to remind yourself that you did the best you could in the saddening situation you and your beautiful pet were placed in.

Let me tell you, the pain doesn’t completely leave but it does start to hurt less and less as time goes on. It comes in waves and the intervals between the waves get further and further. For example, you’ll go from crying every half hour, so every 2 hours, to twice a day, then every 2 days, then every week, to every month, or every few months… and then eventually every once in a while. The pain will lessen, yes and days will get easier but their loss and your feelings behind it will never leave. They were a part of your family, after all. How could you forget family?

We need to understand that the process of moving on and grieving is different for everyone. Your process will be different from someone else’s. It is very important to not compare how someone else is getting through a loss to your own journey. It may take you just a few months or even a few or more years and that is okay. That is normal.

So, to answer the question of how to move on. There is no right way. Do things that make you happy, your pet would have wanted that. Mourn their loss. Talk to them as they are listening and if you need to cry, cry. Cry a lot. Cry whenever you need to cry. Crying it the best remedy. Let the pain be felt. When you let yourself feel pain, you allow yourself to process the pain. This is very crucial because every time the pain comes back and their precious face comes into your head or something triggers a thought of them, the pain will be less because the previous times you allowed yourself to feel it completely. Soon enough, you’ll be smiling instead of crying at the thought of them and how much you miss them.

Their lives may have ended but their soul lives on forever, so please, feel your feelings and most importantly, smile. After all, they are always by your side watching you.