Helpful Hero, Leo

My Dearest Service Dog Leo,

The most beautiful day had finally come. The day that I made the most important life-changing decision that I could ever make about my near future. The day that I chose you, who was originally called “Mr. Black”, out of all the breeders, organizations, other pups in your litter; after months and months of extensive research, time on the clock just kept passing by, but the day I first set my eyes on you, time had stopped. It’s forever lodged into my memory.

You came into my life when I didn’t think I had any brightness, hope, or strength left in me. You have saved me countless and numerous times with my psychiatric disabilities, and of course, with my chronic physical and invisible disabilities as well, that unfortunately, will never go away and may only progress for the worst.

The moment I met you, I quickly took note and etched a picture of you into my mind of your small, little bright white cream body, your tiny black charcoal nose, the Angelic white beautiful birthmark on your forehead, that, at the time, I never thought would disappear. Though you were only 4 weeks old, I chose you, Leo, the runt of the litter. Your brothers and sisters were called for already, however, you for some reason, were not. When I got down on your level on the floor, I quickly scooped you up and whispered quietly in your baby ears… “My Leo…you are the one, my future hero. You will do great things.”

I believe everything happens for a reason, and at that time, the breeder I had chosen stated that your litter was the last litter she was ever going to have. How did I, someone who has not had much luck with anything in my 27 years of life, get so lucky? I had found you in just the right time. Life would have been completely different for both of us, had I gone with another breeder, or went through with a “company” dog.

In the next four weeks, in my preparation of the day I finally got to take you home, all I did was spend countless moments staring at your custom made puppy collar with your name sewn on it, and the space where your crate, puppy blanket and toys were, anxiously awaiting your arrival. Luckily, I was able to visit you once a week, and grow our bond stronger. The weekly photo shoots that the breeder did with you and sent me, where you were pictured in a little tuxedo bandana or bow tie, had kept me excited and feel like I had a reason to stay strong and keep going. The love for you only grew stronger and stronger.

When I initially received my diagnoses, along with the recommendations from my doctors stating that I’d benefit from having a service animal with me at all times, I begun my search for my future hero. Little did I know at that time that you would meet all my expectations and excel far beyond what I had expected to have with a service dog.

I mean, at first, after I took you home, you required to have a little bell on you at all times or else It would take me forever to find you because your curious mind would always wander out of my sight, and you did not have a good “heel”, and it took you some time to be fully potty-trained. You did not have a great recall, and you stole food off of tables, along with getting distracted by everyone and everything that had a beating heart. However, after 2 years went by and many many hours and money spent on training, you were able to graduate from the “service dog in training” title, to being a fully trained medical alert and response service dog. How proud do you think I was in those moments of realization when you tasked flawlessly the first few times in public settings? Fast forward to now at just four years old, you continue to impress me and make me proud.

Leo, you’ve given me independence, along with so much strength to be able to overcome my debilitating anxiety while in crowded and public spaces. I am now able to go places in public without fully dissociating or not being present, along with knowing I’m safe with you by my side.

Having been severely bullied my whole school career for as long as I can remember, and having been through severe emotional abuse and other traumas for many years leading to developing C-PTSD, I never had or felt strength this much before I met you. I have had you to help me through my panic attacks, and was able to have you by my side 24/7, and I never thought of how much I would benefit from you before I had my first panic attack with you present. You responded like an Angel. You are truly a blessing. You made me feel so safe and calmed me down so quick, and continued to lay on my legs and lick my face until I was ok to get up on my own, and not be of harm to myself. The light I originally had as a young child was dimmed or even gone for so long, and when I finally was able to call you mine, I gained almost all of that light back.

The endless love you have for me is just…indescribable. I’ve never felt this much love from anyone or anything in my life, as much as I feel it from you.

Though I’ve received hate and doubts from family members and friends, along with strangers as to why I need a service dog, nobody who has never been through having and owning a service dog truly knows the positive and amazing impact that they bring in individuals’ lives, including mine.

I will forever be grateful for you, My Leo, and you will always be the best service dog I have ever had, and I will forever be strong because of you. Thank you, my Leo.

Thank you for many things. Not only do I thank you for the assistance and saving my life many times, and also for giving me my independence back, I also thank you for the laughter, the smiles, the constant memories I have forever embedded into my brain, and the companionship and loyalty. Each day spent with you is an adventure and not a day goes by without you making me laugh. Your silly perks never go unnoticed. You are a special one, my Leo, and I chose the right one of the litter, just four years ago. Here’s to many more years and cherished memory making with you by my side.

For anyone wondering:

Service dogs aren’t just for the blind or physical disabilities and disabilities you can see. They are for psychiatric and invisible disabilities as well!

If you ever come across a service dog like my Leo, just know that they have a purpose, and a very important job to do for their owner, and are always forever loved and cherished by their persons. They still get to have plenty of play time and fun!!

-Alexandra M.