From July to Cookie

Right now am staring at my paw buddy, Cookie who’s curled up on my couch oblivious to how loud he is snoring.My 9-year-old self would never have anticipated this, having a dog or for instance any animal as a pet. Not because I hate them, I love pets especially dogs. Growing up around a neighbourhood where pets and socialising were nonexistent I used to cherish every moment I would get to spent time with July. And this is going to be about her. My cousin’s adorable Indian Spiltz July was a rather introverted dog and I had to go to great lengths to get her to play with me. I sound desperate because I was, but then why wouldn’t I want one of my own? Because I only loved the idea of having them or playing with them but wasn’t simply ready to accept the responsibilities that came with owning a pet. I knew that very well, each time my cousin took July to bath or feed her or train her with all the patience in the world. I used to think,” I could never do that”.

Being very insecure about my personality, I often subjected myself to believe that each person helping me always had an ulterior move and isn’t just doing that out of goodness. After all, why would someone be nice to me for no reason at all? Selfless love was impossible, there is always something you should give one another in order to be loved. And I related it to everything around me, even my parents and yes, pets too. I knew it was a very wrong self made theory and everyone around me said so. Still, it was simply a mentality of mine that would never change through verbal persuasion. Until an episodes opened my eyes and made me think a little better of love.

July was very much food motivated and I would always carry treats around to lure her to me. I was in the midst of the road, baiting her with treats to get her inside the kennel which was outside. Suddenly July hoped up and licked my face and went inside her kennel obediently. Something that seemed so inane had me melting there like snow. Sure, maybe dogs just don't fancy us for what we give as materials but for what we have to offer as affection.

Gradually I realised that all the 'chores' that you did to take care of a pet weren't chores you do to receive love but rather to give it. Love and affection do not come with conditions or demands but with responsibility and acceptance. July had somehow motivated me to work on myself. Though I never could completely shut off the voices and doubts in my head, It gave me hope to love and accept love selflessly. But that sure wasn't enough to keep me steady through all the hurdles that life was tossing my way. Getting tangled up in a lot of troubles and being looked down on multiple times did a lot of damage to my confidence. And when I realised I was going back to my old self I knew It was time to embrace a new hope in my life, something that I had wanted for a long time also was ready for.

As cliche as it sounds adopting Cookie was one of the best things I ever did. There were days when I couldn't simply imagine getting out of bed but I knew I ought to, take Cookie for a walk, feed him and give him a fraction of my time. Two years since our relationship was certainly not all rainbow and sunshine, but it is simple enough for me to know that there is always something out there for me to work on even if everything around me is out of order.

~July sparked my hope and Cookie keeps it ignited.