Foster Failure

*The dog in this narrative will be called "Kraken" for comedic anonymity.

This story is about a girl who always thought she would make a fabulous canine foster until a chance fell on her lap, and she learned that wasn’t the case. First, some backstory. (It’s a lot, but just hang with me.)

About five years ago, I used to work at an animal hospital and pet spa combo business. It was never a surprise to have strays or surrenders stay with us for a time before a client or a staff member adopted them. Kraken and her brother entered our lives after receiving an extremely high dosage of horse dewormer.

With a dewormer, proper dosage and type are helpful to a dog, especially for puppies. A puppy is left vulnerable to various problems without an excellent deworming schedule. Diarrhea, vomiting, and dehydration are the least of your worries. If left untreated for too long, worms can cause significant developmental issues and even death.

But of course, too much of a good thing becomes a bad thing. When these two puppies were exposed to too much horse dewormer, they became victims of ivermectin overdose. They both came in extremely weak; Kraken was comatose and given a grim prognosis. For about a week, both puppies received treatment to rid their bodies of as much ivermectin as possible. While there wasn’t much change with Kraken, it appeared blatant that her brother would survive. All the staff fell in love with both of them and spent as much time with them as possible. A couple of us even talked about fostering or adopting the puppies should they survive, me included.

A weekend came and went. As soon as I came to work the following Monday, I rushed over to see Kraken and her brother, preparing myself for the prospect that I might only see Kraken’s brother alive. (Duh, duh, duh)

When I came to the kennel that I knew they were staying at, I saw that, surprisingly, not only was Kraken awake, she was full of energy. She struggled with a toy twice her size, tugging aggressively on its ear. As soon as she realized someone was watching her, Kraken ran to the door of the kennel, her big brown eyes staring intensely into mine. I fell in love with her instantly. Unfortunately, her brother passed away during the weekend, leaving her alone. Then, soon afterward, she was surrendered to the animal hospital’s care. And, even though she woke up from her coma, Kraken’s chances of making it to six months of age seemed slim.

Wow, this seems to be a little bit of a sad story. Don’t worry; it’s not over yet.

As soon as I saw Kraken awake for the first time, I knew that I wanted a chance to be her foster. Even though it didn’t look like Kraken would have a chance of being adopted, I wanted to be the one to make sure that her last days weren’t spent in a cage and in the place where she lost her sibling.

Her vets gave her the all-clear to be on the potential adoptees and foster list. But, she would stay at the animal hospital until someone was willing to adopt her despite the potential of a short life or a life full of hypothetical side effects. As a bit of a test run, I offered to take Kraken home for the weekend; my family could meet her, and she could spend a couple of days in a home.

Now that we have gone through all of that backstory, let’s get to the important part, shall we?

“Girls! Your sister and her surprise are here.” I hear my sisters gathering near the door to greet me and unknowingly Kraken. My mom opens the door for me, holding a bag full of weekend doggie essentials in one hand and a vast, covered crate in the other. Mom reaches out, grabs the bag, and gives me room to bring the carrier.

“Okay, everyone, settle down. Can one of you grab Thunder and take her into one of the other rooms?” My younger sister grabs our cat and takes her into my parents’ bedroom. She rushes back into the living room and dives onto the couch.

I place the carrier on the floor, still covered. I take a deep breath and exhale nervously. I don’t know why this is so nerve-racking for me. Having a dog, even if it is supposed to be for a short time, is a change for any family. But it’s a more significant change for our family. We are barely used to having one pet in the house, but to add another one, one that could potentially break our hearts so soon, I could be asking for too much.

I glance at my little sister. She has been through so much; I could put her through more if the worse happens. But, I remind myself of the biggest reason I want to foster Kraken. For her. I had allowed my imagination to run rampant when I first saw Kraken awake. A big part of it was seeing more of my sister’s genuine smile; it can be rare nowadays.

“Remember the puppies I had been telling you about; the ones who were given horse dewormer?” My sisters shake their heads up and down. Since they came to us the first day, I told my family everything I thought they could handle. My family, especially my mom and little sister, have become invested in their stories. They shared my worry when Kraken was in her coma and my heartbreak when Kraken’s brother died.

“I have been permitted to bring her home for the weekend to see if she would be a good fit as a foster.” And maybe to see if she would be a good fit for us to adopt, a small voice whispers in my ear. I swat the imaginary fly away. It’s not like I hadn’t thought of it, but with Kraken’s hypothetical short lifespan looming over her, I couldn’t do that to us.

My little sister dances on the couch while her eyes whip back and forth between me and the crate. “Is she here now? Can we see her?” she squeals out.

Kraken seems to sense the excitement in the air as she whines. I smile and go to the crate. Bending next to it, I reach my hand to the cover. As I do so, that small voice starts screaming at me. Think what this could do to your little sister, your family. They’ll get as attached as you are, and if what the vets say comes true, you’ll be breaking their hearts. I pause, hand on the blanket and face scrunched up. Maybe, just maybe.

“I have to let you guys know something. It could be nothing, but I must prepare you guys.” I adjust, sitting next to the carrier and looking at my family. “The vets have warned me of some things. I almost didn’t tell you because I was worried about it hanging over our heads. But, if I don’t and these things happen, you guys won’t be emotionally prepared.”

My mom furrows her eyes in concern. “Honey, what kind of things?”

My eyes draw to the ground as I start to tell them everything. The potential side effects and the fact that Kraken might not live for much more than a month if I went through with fostering Kraken. That I almost took back my offer to let her stay the weekend, all to protect them from attachment and the eventual heartbreak.

I hear movement as my little sister gets up from her couch. Her arms envelope me as she asks me: “All those things you mentioned are not a guarantee, right?” Shaking my head, yes, I look at my little sister. “So maybe it’s not something we should focus on. If it happens, at least she got to spend her last days with people who love her. If it doesn’t, then it doesn’t.” When did she get so wise?

With my sister’s words urging me, I take the cover off the carrier. Kraken runs to the front of it, her little muzzle poking out in the space between the bars. Silence filled the room as if everyone was scared that even the loud sound of our breathing would terrify her. My dad is the first to break the tension with a barely heard whisper.

“I know you said she was tiny, but…” He trails off, marveling at her size. To say she was tiny is an understatement; just under a pound at an estimated four months old, she can fit in my hands comfortably. What she lacks in size, she more than makes up for in fight. All the vets agree the amount of horse dewormer she received should have killed her. But something in her tiny, skinny body heard them and rose to the challenge.

I look at my family, almost willing them to hold her. But it seems as if I have to take the first step. “Who wants to hold her first?” I ask, opening her crate for Kraken to come out. Like a cautious deer in an open field, she comes out and hurries to her only haven - on my lap. I murmur words of comfort to the nervous puppy.

“Can I just pet her?” My older sister questions. I widened my eyes in shock; she is not a dog person, but she was willing to give the tiny bundle of fur in my lap a chance. My sister reaches out tentatively, not wanting to startle Kraken. Kraken reached her nose to meet my older sister’s hand, starving for her attention. I was so happy that Kraken could bond with someone like my older sister.

Soon, Kraken was being slowly passed around, being held and loved by everyone in my family. I saw how comfortable and safe Kraken felt, sleeping soundly for the first time in days. This can work. I could be her foster. Then, my little sister turned around, and I nearly cried at the sight of her huge, natural smile. That’s when I knew that I knew that fostering wasn’t enough.

So, I asked for the adoption paperwork that following Monday. As I filled out the paperwork, I saw the question: ‘Why do you want to adopt this dog?’ Tears of joy dripped on the paper as I filled out the blank.

‘For the first time in years, I saw my little sister genuinely smile for more than a moment and I want to do everything I can to keep that smile on her face.’

For those who want to know, Kraken is alive and well today. Even though I hadn't planned on having a dog for longer than a month, I don't regret adopting the dog who made my little sister start genuinely smiling again.