First Time Foster Fail

Three years, we lost our beloved cat of 8 years. My husband had rescued her as a kitten after he found her sick and dying on a golf course. She became his best friend and saw him through a difficult time in his life before we were married. Every year we take a week vacation to Florida and have family feed her and care for her. She was always fine but one year she wasn't. For whatever reason, she stopped eating when we left. We didn't realize she was eating so little until we came home and noticed how lethargic and miserable she was. She had always been a cantankerous and fiesty cat, so this was a huge change. When we took her to the vet, they said she had liver disease and would need to be hand fed and given IV fluids to save her. The vet shared it was alot of work and warned us it would be very time consuming and diffcult to feed her. We felt totally up to the task, as we loved her and were certain we could nurse her back to health. The vet wasn't kidding! Every feeding and IV treatment was brutal. She meowed in in agony and fought us every step of the way. 6 days into the treatment, we woke up one morning and couldn't find her in her usual spot. My husband found her in the shower moaning in agony. She started to seize and we think she had lost her vision as she stared mindlessly into space. We waited for the vet to open and took her right in. The vet sadly told us there was no hope and we had to put her down. We felt devastated.... Not only to lose her but that she had been suffering for 6 days. We thought we were doing the right thing trying to save her but to this day, both my husband and I feel awful about prolonging her pain. In addition, we felt guilty for leaving and couldn't figure out why this particular year, she stopped eating and reacted so poorly to our abscence. This was one of the few times in my life, I have seen my strong and easy going husband break down in tears. She was there for him when she needed him. She was his best friend when he and I were on the rocks. She brought him so much joy and he had saved her and she had saved him. It was heartbreaking.

I also felt guilty. I had fostered puppies and kittens for years and we had just had a batch of kittens before our trip. Now, we kept them apart from our kitty and never did they touch or meet, but I recall my husband saying his kitty started to act weird when they arrived. I dismissed this as her being a brat but was it more than that? Did they get her sick? Even though they never touched or shared any space? While our vet assured us it was liver disease in cats isn't something she could catch so isolated, I still felt guilty. When I look back, she did seem bothered by their arrival. Guilt consumed me and I thought: I am never fostering again. This is my fault.

Two months after our kitty's death, we were flying home from a trip and I saw a Facebook plea from the rescue I had fostered for in the past. 4 male kittens had been left in a box by a dumpster in the brutal Arizona July heat. The rescue was desperate for a foster. My heart string were more than tugged but I wasn't sure how my husband would feel. When I showed him, he hesitantly said okay. I was so excited to be able to bring animals into our home again and help these little guys. We never planned to keep any of them. I don't think my husband felt ready to be a pet owner again. He made it clear we were only fostering.

We fostered these brothers for 6 months and it was finally time for them to be adopted. When it came time for us to part with them, we found ourselves feeling sad but we were resolved. We weren't foster failing. When the first two boys were adopted, we couldn't bring the last two to the adoption event. I begged my husband to keep one, a little black and white cutie we started calling Helmet. My husband agreed but only if w could keep is cuddly brother Trio. We had fallen in the love with them and officially foster failed! I never thought it would happen to us, but like so many other fosters, we feel in love with these animals.

The best part of this experience was seeing my husband fall in love with them and boy do these little kittens love him. I think they love him much more than they love me and I think that's just perfect. Sometimes I feel a little jealous but when I see them all snuggling together or playing, it's just too cute to be anything but delighted.

The last year during the pandemic we have felt especially grateful for our two playful and extremely affectionate boys! We don't have any children at home and these kittens have brought us so much joy during the year of isolation and stress. I never thought I would feel so lucky to have a pet but this year without them would have been so lonely. We are so lucky and grateful to have our Helmet and Trio and so happy we failed!