Fate? Rooster Roo Retribution?

Prescience

Last week, I looked at Badger as he sat in his crate. We stared at each other, locking eyes for a few seconds. We were both groggy, as the whole lot of us here were just waking up at 5:15 a.m. But as I looked at him and he looked back, something seemed not quite right. His left eye looked a bit out of sorts, as though it was even more buggy than normal. Now, Badger's nickname is "Mr. Buggy Eyes" for a reason. His eye protrude more than a little, showing a white ring around them much of the time. This feature of his has given more than one "dog person" pause, as they think that he has "whale eyes" and is going to go off the rails at any second. All the same, last week, the left one of those buggy eyes seemed just a little buggier.

I like to think that I'm a practical woman. Even though I don't like to think about sad things, I had to face the fact that something appeared to be going on with Badger's eye. I know that eyes are not something that are easily repaired and, for that reason, I also know that the vet bills for something that time-consuming and intricate are well beyond my reach. I asked Dan and Kathleen to ask their vets about the cost of getting a dog's eye removed, just in case the eye continued to worsen. In my opinion, it was better to be prepared with the information instead of having to seek out the best care for the best price when I was upset. After determining that Dan's vet was the one that we needed (with one of the vets having extensive education and experience with eyes, as luck would have it), we filed the information away "for later."

The Incident

Even though his eyes are normal (for him!) and the white ring is meaningless, Badger spends a great deal of time at home living up to the first three letters of his call name, as evidenced by my previous story about him. Imagine my shock when, the morning following his bout with the rooster, Badger's right eye was being held tightly shut and clear mucus was eking out from under his eyelid. Because his eyes are so buggy, Badger has had minor eye issues before. I got out his sterile eye drops, as I usually did, pried his eyelid open as best I could, and applied one of the little ampules to the eye. Then I put a little triple antibiotic ointment where I could manage. Usually, he has relief in a couple of hours and the nick heals in a few days. Not this time.

The following day, the eyedrops and antibiotic ointment had begun to do their job. Badger was alert and he felt no pain that was worth it to a terrier to show. But the damage to his eye was now evident. With his eyelids held partially open, I could see that Badger had a wide, open space that transversed the eyeball. While at first it seemed that his lens was protruding from this crack, further examination revealed the "lens" to be an illusion caused by the edges of the cornea failing to meet. Even without medical training, it seemed evident to me that it was beyond repair. Dan called his vet and scheduled an appointment for eye removal. We had to wait several days for the surgery to take place, so the vet reassured us that doing as we had been doing--cleaning the eye and providing pain relief as needed--was fine and needed to continue. Except for the usual pre-surgical orders, that was all we needed to do before surgery Tuesday morning.

As usual, before the surgery, I engaged in my own pre-surgical routine: having sick-feeling, deep-rooted anxiety that I would never see my Badgerboo again. I arranged for Dan to take him to the vet, as I knew my anxiety wouldn't serve Badger well as we handed him off to the doctor. The last thing that I did for Badger before he left was to hold him in my lap for a half an hour, just snuggling him. He put his head against my chest, I put my head next to his. For a short time, we sat quietly and listened to each other breath. All too quickly, that moment was over.

Dan honked his horn.

I put Badger into his carrier.

I loaded him into Dan's van and watched him drive away.

The Results

I'm happy to report that Badger came through surgery with no issues. He was groggy, of course!, when he came home. He tried valiantly to shake it off but slept for most of the afternoon. That night, although weeknights are still currently kibble nights, everyone got a feast of raw venison (ground for the TFTs and chunks for the Teddies). They didn't realize that such largess came solely because I was concerned about Badger being able to handle dry kibble. He ate his venison like a champ and fell back to sleep.

You may have noticed that I have not put up any photos, although I typically have several in my articles. One of my friends told me that, although the post-surgical photo wasn't too graphic, that she had a "visceral response" to what the other eye was trying to tell us. It was the "whale eyes" issue all over again, made worse because there was not a second eye to balance the first in the viewer's mind. I may have posted my last current picture of Badger, at least until--and if--he has his other eye removed and there are no whale eyes to worry about.

The Future

Because there's a possibility of having the second eye removed in time, Badger still has an uncertain future. He will always be my best buddy. I love him: two eyes, one eye, or no eyes. No animal has to be perfect to have my love. Sometimes, I love the badly imperfect ones even more.

Today, he will go for his first on-leash walk, now that he's done with his crate rest. Once he's regained his confidence while walking, we'll resume training. I might even get him on the small training teeter and see if I can negotiate him through a short set of weave poles, eventually. A one-eyed dog can compete in both Rally and agility in both AKC and UKC, as long as they are not a danger to themselves. I know that I've said I was passing the baton to younger dogs, and I still will, but I think I want to see if we can get just one more title for him. Just to prove that, although his life has changed, his life as we knew it is not completely over.