Everything is fine.

My dog has, count em, four chronic health issues.

The first chronic condition may be the result of bad breeding practices. We don't know where she came from, because we got her from a friend. She's a Maltipoo--a Maltese Poodle mix.

Designer breeders do not have a good track record.

When she first started crying at the slightest touch, it was because fluid had built up in her little body. She had a heart murmur that no one had noticed, and because of it, congestive heart failure.

This means that the heart wasn't able to pump all of the fluid away.

She went on three different medications--furosemide, pimobendan, another one I can't remember. Two of them were diuretics, meaning they helped her pee the fluid out.

It saved her life, but it was too much.

I did my research, and asked the vet if it was a concern when her bloodwork showed that her kidney values were high. There are certain things you look for, and those tell you when you're in the danger zone.

It's fine, he said. I'm not worried.

I come from a family that likes to natural remedies for pretty much everything. We don't go to the doctor often; at least not for annual checkups--we do see specialists on a semifrequent basis, for a variety of things.

Those specialists have varying qualifications.

I was becoming more educated about pharmaceutical and holistic medicine, and I wanted to trust the vet for once. Trying to figure it out on my own hadn't gotten me anywhere with my last dog, and I was tired. Against my better judgement, I took his advice.

This was a mistake.

To no surprise to me, she went into kidney failure. To add insult to injury, the vet didn't even suggest that she might be suffering due to the side effects from the diuretics he had prescribed.

He gave her nausea medication. For an upset stomach. When one of the symptoms of kidney failure is not being able to keep anything down.

I am still incandescently angry.

It was difficult, to say the least, to get her in to a vet at the last minute. Mom finally called a friend whose husband was a vet, and so we started our relationship with Alma Animal Hospital.

They saved her life. They gave her fluids, and continued to do so on a triweekly basis for around two years.

This is also the only vet that has ever really recognized my efforts in any way. Vets tend to be fairly dismissive--the last one insisted that I switch to a prescription diet, but we'll get to that later--and he acknowledged that I was doing a good job feeding her. His colleague also accepted my alternative to medication when we later found out that she has what seems to be arthritis--they said they didn't know for sure, but that was what it looked like on the x-ray, and she had been yelping at the slightest contact again, so it made sense.

I've been feeding her homecooked food for years, now. I don't exactly do it the way you're supposed to, because I'm a seat of the pants sort of cook, but her labs have improved or held steady every single time since the day she went into kidney failure. If that weren't the case, I might be concerned, but she's doing well--she's gotten better--largely because of me. Because I took the time to educate myself. Because I've done my best.

The last vet wouldn't even acknowledge that at all. He insisted repeatedly that I switch to prescription food, flat out told me that he couldn't advise me on the my dog's nutritional needs, and only suggested that I "save up" so I can contact a nutritionist.

I have. Granted, she was the wrong choice, and I need to do so again, but like I said, I've also done my homework. Her bloodwork is in the high range of normal. It's so normal that the Alma vet was not particularly concerned. He gave me recipes to feed her. He acknowledged that the way I'm feeding her is good for her. That it's helped her. That she's improved because of it.

All that work, and not even a "good job." Guess that'll teach me to think that maybe I can put judgement aside and use the vet at Petco.

Even with all of this, no one can tell me why she has seizures sometimes. She seems to have them when she gets dehydrated, and we live in Texas. It's 100 degrees during the day right now. She needs more water than the average dog. And she does. not. want. to. drink.

Remember the heart murmur? Yeah, she coughs when she drinks too fast.

She does not know how to not drink too fast. I've tried teaching her. She does not know how to slow down.

I alternate between coaxing her to drink by throwing treats in her water, giving her milk (not the best due to fat content and digestibility, but what works), and mixing her food with water. She's decided she much prefers her food in ice cube form, so I prep by putting everything in an ice cube tray and adding the supplements I give with each meal.

At this point, my opinion is that it's better to get what she needs into her body than it is to forget. Including it when I freeze it helps prevent me from missing a step.

She used to drink when we got into the car, but lately she's been turning up her nose. I think she actually likes the syringe. She can lick the water without choking, so she seems to prefer it, and doesn't want to go back to gulping.

I don't blame her, but it makes things that much more difficult for me.

I don't know if it's possible to keep her from having an episode every day anymore. I stopped going to get subcutaneous fluids three times a week because she was still getting them anyway, and she hates getting stuck with a needle. I can mostly keep up, with similar results, if I can get her to drink enough.

I have to do this at least three, four times a day. Drink, please. Please drink. You feel better when you drink.

I'm seriously considering getting her a hamster bottle. Maybe then she'll drink enough on her own.

She still shakes. She comes to me for comfort, and I don't always realize what's happening at first. It's good to know she likes it when I comfort her, at least.

I'm still improving my knowledge. I look things up pretty much every time I make her food to make sure I'm still doing things correctly, that I'm giving her things that are okay for her to eat. I rotate the grains, the meat, the veggies, the fruits, to ensure she's getting enough variety in her diet. I don't want her to get bored of the same thing over and over either. I scour every label on everything I buy her to ensure that there's no salt on the list.

Did you know that salt is in just about everything? It's an essential mineral for dogs, so it makes sense, but salt retains water. She has a heart murmur. She had congestive heart failure. She does not need anything in her diet that will help her retain water.

She does still need diuretics, I think, but in a much milder form. The veggies usually serve this purpose, and they work just fine when I do it right.

(I say "I think" because much of this is trial and error. I've learned that I cannot simply trust the vets. I have to observe for myself, and test my own knowledge.)

Did you know that sugar also retains water? And that many dog treats contain some form of sugar when they don't contain salt?

Between my dog and I (I can't have sugar), I don't think there's any food label left unchecked in this house.

My parents say she's doing fine. That if she wants to run outside and bark at things, then she must be feeling okay.

I can tell when she's lethargic. I can tell when she hasn't had enough water. I can tell when things are worse that day, that minute, that hour.

It makes me sad that they can't.

She's not fine. She's chronically ill. She will never not be chronically ill again. And if I don't manage her conditions every few hours of every single day, she will go downhill.

It's exhausting, and I wish someone else cared the same way I do.

It's fine, though.

Everything is fine.