Diesel

This is my beautiful boy.

He hasn't always been my beautiful boy. As a young pup he was known as our very own land shark. His teeth were lethal and he had no idea of how to restrain himself from plunging them repeatedly into my forearms. I was covered in welts, gouges, bruises and cuts. His baby teeth were like nothing I have ever felt before and like nothing I want to experience again.

He came to us in the most surprising way.

We lost our previous dog about 3 years ago. He was a tiny dog from France who travelled with us around the world. He lived 17 very full years in many countries and gave us so much joy, comfort and happiness. We loved him so much it was hard to let him go when the vet told us he had an aggressive cancer and would be in constant pain if we didn't. Really the choice had to be made. We took him for one last magical walk by the sea. Fed him ice cream and bacon. Then took him to the vet where we held him and wept while his breathe disappeared and his life left his body. We wrapped him in his favourite blanket and sent him on with our love.

He was the keeper of so many of our memories. We poured through our photos of him; remembering places we had been and all the people whose lives he had touched. To think of him was agonising at times, so many family members had died in the time we had lived with him and thinking of him unleashed the pain of them too. Waves of grief, washing, crashing, memories leaving us powerless in their wake. There was a hole in our hearts that remained empty. We could not bear the thought of another pet coming into our lives as we didn't think we could endure a repeat of the pain.

But as they say - time heals. The memories of him became softer, less agonising and somehow warmer like golden sunlight. Thoughts of another pet started to creep into our conversations.

Then came COVID with lockdowns and Corona puppies. Dogs became rare as hens teeth and our family doesn't fit the description of a typical perfect home for a rescue dog. We can be erratic and work all sorts of hours which could be challenging for a dog who was already finding life hard to understand. We were turned down time and time again, or when the match was perfect, we heartbreakingly couldn't get to the city to pick up the dog due to travel restrictions. We had almost given up when a friend messaged and said she knew of someone with unwanted puppies.

A local farmer had a working dog who had become pregnant with her second litter in 6 months. She had 5 pups who were unwanted and needed to find homes- and quickly. The mum was a beautiful tricolour kelpie who helped to round up cows and chickens on her farm. She had energy to burn and plenty of attitude but she was also caring and gentle. We went to meet the pups and were absolutely smitten. We struggled to choose one and almost chose two. Thinking back now we would have been absolutely insane to have taken two considering how challenged we were by one. We chose our beautiful boy Diesel. The farmer gave him to us for no charge as she said the alternative was a trip to the vet and that would have cost her. A jet black kelpie with a splatter of white on his chin and chest, hinting at the possibility of some border collie in his past.

We thought that it would be like having our previous dog as a pup. A bit challenging but fun at the same time. A few hours with him were all we needed to know that we were completely out of our depth. He really wanted to be loved and cared for but found the way he enjoyed demonstrating that was through destruction of people or objects. If he wanted proximity then his mouth had to be on your wrist, ankle or fingers. To rescue your body part you had to replace it in his mouth with something solid to chew. He was impossible to stroke hating any human touch. But he was also an absolute delight to train. His brain was incredible and he could learn anything he was taught. Slowly he began to bond with us through the sheer joy of training. He loves to succeed and that was his strongest motivator to seek us out. He quickly learned basic commands like sit, down, paw and added more almost daily. He has fun commands like between and next and can even tidy his toys into his box with the command in. He has slowly learned to love us for more than chew toy benefits and has truly become my beautiful boy. He rarely leaves my side when I am home, he watches when I need comfort and will place his head on my foot as if to ground me when I am struggling. He has brought me chances to talk briefly with others out walking their dogs, easing my loneliness but not forcing me into long, involved complex human relationships. He has helped me learn new skills, dig deep into patience and cleared my brain of unwanted thoughts as he demands attention in the here and now. It's hard not to be present when an 18 kg kelpie is leaning on you for love and hugs. He is not the dog I ever thought we would have but he is most definitely the most perfect and beautiful boy to have welcomed into our lives. I can't wait to see what happens as he grows and I get to share his beauty with others.