Definitive Proof Dogs Are Better Than Cats

We all know dogs are better than cats. They are companion animals, preferring packs. They were bred to be the perfect animal companion to humans.

People bizarrely still choose cats over dogs as pets. I know. Weird.

How can you turn down a dog? Just look at them!

What makes dogs better pets?

This is an easy answer. Everything. But, you probably want that proof I mentioned before. No problem.

I already stated dogs were bred to be the perfect companion animal. Humans selectively chose all the best features of wild wolves to make for the perfect furry companion. Wolves were a natural choice because they are pack animals and humans are social animals. We like having the company and so do they.

It's fully consensual due to biology.

Dogs also feel sadness when they've done wrong and want to make our lives better. Dogs have a high degree of empathy and will come to us when feeling sad. Can you say that about cats? You can, but it's probably just waiting to eat you in your sleep.

We all remember the scene from Futurama where Seymour waits for Fry. I can't watch that scene anymore… so sad. What a good pupper.

Why people choose cats

I'm not sure people do choose cats. I think they just feel a need for companionship and pick cats because they think cats will provide some relief. They don't. They just eat and pee. (Yes. I'm writing this after just cleaning a litter box.)

Some people choose cats for good reason. People who own barns will sometimes keep cats to hunt mice. Cats are carnivorous predators, unkind and unloving. These cats find fun in swatting the mouse like a ball for an hour before finally ending its tortured existence.

Cats are ruthless killers.

How to help your friend who thinks they like cats

If you have a friend who thinks they like cats, it's probably better to just find a new friend. There are tons of sites allowing for this. Bumble has a friendship setting, as do OKCupid and a few other apps. Meetup can help you find people who have a similar interest in dogs.

If you have a friend who thinks they like cats but also truly loves dogs (the best animal ever), there's still hope. I suggest you share this story with them. To help bring them in the fold, here are a few pictures of cute and loving dogs to compare with cats:

Truly, dogs are the best. They deserve bold, italics, and underline.

The Best Dog Breeds

If you have been paying attention, by now you will be convinced dogs are the ideal pet. Good for you! Thanks for being one of the good people.

But, what's the best breed of dog?

While everything else is an incontrovertible and objective fact, your favorite breed of dog is subjective. I love all dogs of all kinds.

This required research! I contacted an objective and unbiased consultant, my girlfriend, to find out which.

"All of them, except those little yappy ones."

Here's a list of the dogs you might want to skip (but don't skip them because they're still cute and awesome dogs):

• Chihuahua
• Shih Tzu
• Toy poodle
• Cocker Spaniel
• Miniature Schnauzer
• Jack Russell Terrier
• Yorkshire Terrier
• Boston Terrier
• Any Terrier
• Pomeranian
• Pug

Your mileage may vary.

I would advocate skipping pugs for sure. They were bred selectively to have punched in noses. My consulting expert says, "They breathe so loudly they sound like a broken air conditioner." That says it all.

I used to have a dog who was 3/4 Toy Poodle and 1/4 Shih Tzu. He was amazing, and a great protector. He didn't yap. He had a deep and thunderous voice, as though through his mouth the mighty Fenrir spoke.

Sadly, he died.

I also had a 50/50 Boston Terrier/Pug. He was energetic, barked at every little sound, and was totally incorrigible. I still thought he was great! He lives with a kind lady. She was an animal rights activist in the 1980s, making great strides to help our furry friends.

When picking your beloved dog after showing your felines the true purpose of a catapult, please ensure your dog has the right temperament to match your own. The Ontario SPCA has a tool called "Meet Your Match" to help determine the best kind of dog for you.

Best of luck to you and your new best friend.

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