Cats and Relationships

It had been almost six months since I spoke to Brian, I missed his touch and the sound of his voice. I aches for his arms to wrap around me again and hold me close so I could feel his heart beat against mine.

How could I ever move on when all I thought about was just having one more moment I could share with him, even if it was for a second. I had to break free from the bond that no longer bound us together but still I was anchored to someone who was only a part of my past. How was I going to release myself from this box created for a relationship when the box is now half empty. I was feeling like when you open a perishable package and after awhile it becomes stale and it’s time to discard the half box and buy new. That’s where I was at, I needed to clean out my pantry of half empty boxes that’s been keeping me from starting fresh and with new boxes like new goals to fulfill and try new things and begin on a new path on my own. My mom always said start with a cat and that’s how you can find purpose, then love, and stability in your life when everything in your life has fallen apart and you don’t have anything left worth living for.

Then one night I went to my roommate and asked if I could have a kitten. He saw the despair that was controlling my life and the deep sadness that became a part of every emotion and I expressed myself with the emptiness that was left when he took my heart with him.

Later that night my roommate came in with a surprise, he found three abandoned kittens bundled up in newspapers at the gas station across the street from our house. We worked together to catch the little helpless four week old kittens and brought them into my room. In that very moment I felt life poor back into me. I started feeling happy again. I had a purpose other than for myself. I nurtured them, I became their mother and before I knew it I no longer craved him. I finally was able to set myself free of the bondage that took so many of my days and living in a dark sadness that seemed hopeless to ever feel love again. I began to see the love they felt for me and all that love made me strong and determined to give them a happy home full of love sand warmth just like I once received from him. Now I could share a love with my kittens.

I have not went searching for another man to share my life with because I have my cat “George”, I did give two away but I kept one. I kept the one that first let me pet him, the first to sleep on me, and the first to show me he loved me. That little cat filled the whole Brian left me with when he decided to move down a path without me by his side. Though I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with him now I realize he was just a door to the next chapter in my life. He taught me how to love and for that is what makes me the best mom to my cat...

Thank you George for bringing happiness back into my life and filling me with love.