Betty Boop

Betty Boop was living by a dumpster with some mangy looking pit bulls when my niece Shannie found her. The big dogs ate everything before she could even get a bite. She was starving. You could see all her ribs and every bone of her spine. She could have been in a TV commercial raising money to save animals from abuse with her little skinny little skeleton body. I wish I had taken a picture. I didn't know I would be writing this, or I would have.

Shannie snatched her up, called her Princess Leah, and brought her home. We began to fatten her up and play with her. She didn't answer to Princess Leah, but she would come running really fast when I said "Boop Boop!" I guess it was because I made "boop boodle oop boop" noises when I was playing with her and she thought I wanted to play. Since she answered to Boop Boop her name ended up being Betty Boop instead of Princess Leah.

Her tail had a big painful knot on it and she was afraid to go through doors when we got her. I am pretty sure a door had shut on her tail. She would not let us touch her from the hips down. She would growl and bite if she even thought somebody was getting close to touching her tail. She didn't bite hard enough to bring blood or make it hurt badly. It was a warning. She only bit hard enough to let you know that she was serious about wanting you to leave her tail alone. I had to pick her up and carry her through doors. She would just stand there looking at the door shaking. It took about a month before she started trusting me enough to finally start walking through doors on her own. When the knot in her tail got smaller she stopped growling and biting. Now I can pet her tail too.

At first I thought she was a Chihuahua. But after she put on some weight she began to look more like a Dachshund. Soon she weighed nine pounds after nearly doubling in size. Her body was long and her legs were short. She has turned out to be a Mexican Hot Dog for sure. And she has a German Taco personality, too. She loves to scratch and dig. Dachshunds were bred to hunt badgers. Digging is part of what they do naturally. She is bossy and headstrong, but eager to please. She's funny, sweet and loving, too.

She learned how to "speak" for a treat in one lesson. Getting her to "sit" for a treat took two days. When I tried to get her to lay down after sitting, she looked at me with exasperation as if she couldn't believe how much I was asking. Then she peed on my bed. It was the first time she'd ever done anything like that. At first I guessed she must have been be mad at me for being so demanding. I'd resist having to perform for food, too, if I was a dog. But she loves beef jerky so much I am pretty sure she will eventually comply if I keep bribing her.

The huge amount of liquid in her bladder that day also told me that she'd been holding it for a while. So maybe she just drank too much water and had an accident. She was so remorseful when I called her out on it, I could tell she was embarrassed and regretful. I felt sorry thinking about how long she must have held it and ended up apologizing to her for not taking her out sooner. She responds to gentleness and reward much better than threats of punishment.

When she first got here she gobbled down food really fast and swallowed it whole without even chewing it up. But it wasn't long before she became a picky eater. I am glad because obesity could have been a problem had she not. She doesn't like doggie treats. She's a healthy eater. She likes avacados, cucumber, corn and Vienna Sausages. While searching the grocery store for treats she might like, I was surprised to discover that those little cans of weenies for humans are a whole lot cheaper than little cans of dog food. Seems odd that people food would cost less than food for a dog. But I'm glad it does. I bet the quality of the meat is a lot better too. So that's what she gets.

Within a week of Shannie bringing Miss Betty Boop Boop home, it was clear that she thought my primary purpose in life was to play with her until she was tired, then sit and hold her in my lap while she slept. She is always eager to play and bounding with joy. She wants me to throw her squeaky cheeseburger toy over and over until she gets tired of chasing it. Then she likes to play tug the rope. It doesn't take long until she is ready to lay down and rest.

She does not like to be disturbed when she is resting. She will growl and snap if I don't leave her alone when she is trying to sleep. When she wakes up she gets very jealous of anything I am doing and wants me to look at her instead. She looks at the computer with dismay and disappointment. She roots underneath it. She lays on my chest in front of it. She won't allow me to write unless I play with her first.

I was scared when I took her to the vet for a rabies shot and they offered to scan her. I was afraid she would be chipped and it would turn out that someone was looking for her, and they would want her back. Fortunately she is not chipped. Whoever abandoned this little dog by the dumpster ought to be shot. Someone would have to be pretty stupid not to care about losing such a precious dog.

Betty Boop Boop is a whole lot smarter than she wants anybody to know. She instinctively senses that the more tricks she learns, the more tricks I will be asking her to do. So she resists complying. But I know she knows what I want her to do because she doesn't mind using the tricks I'm teaching her as a means of getting me to comply. Yes. She anticipates commands. And that is how I became the maid and butler for a dog.

Did I mention how stubborn and bossy she is? Not even a treat will change her mind if she is fixated on something that she considers important. One day the neighbor was riding his horse down the road. Betty Boop started barking and ran after the horse! You would think a nine pound dog would be afraid of getting stomped to death by a two thousand pound horse. But not this dog. She was fearlessly determined to chase the horse. Every time I tried to pick her up, she ran from me. She was not interested in a treat. Every time she ran away from me, she got closer to the horse and barked even more.

My neighbor dismounted and told the horse to stay. It did. It just stood there right where he left it. That was impressive. I can't even get a little bitty dog to do that. The cowboy and I were both running around trying to catch Miss Boop Boop while she barked and dodged us. The horse just stood there perfectly still watching this bizarre spectacle. It must take some pretty elaborate genetic engineering to make a nine pound dog want to chase a horse is all I know. She goes after cows too. They just look at her like she's crazy.

Betty likes to sleep under the covers right next to me. Apparently I will have to get a bigger bed because sometimes she falls off when I roll over. The looks she gives me when I want to write instead of keeping my attention on her is precious to behold. On one hand, I don't want to reinforce her belief that her natural born place is to be the center of my attention. On the other hand, I'd better wrap this up because she just woke up and wants to play.