Angry Joe

Okay, I know what you’re thinking - “Hey, that isn’t a photo of your pet! Boo! Hiss!” And you’re right - it’s my artistic representation… and, dear aggrieved reader, there’s a good reason for that.

Angry Joe was a betta fish - also known as a Siamese Fighting Fish - one of many we have for sale at a certain multinational pet store chain I work at. He came in with the usual Monday morning shipment of live aquatic pets, but he stood out pretty quickly.

Sometimes, a fish or two will arrive in a shipment with a medical issue, or develop one while waiting to be purchased. These can range from minor tears in their huge, elaborate fins, to ich (pronounced ‘ick’ - an appropriate-sounding parasitic infection) to behavioral issues. This was why we kept Angry Joe separately, and didn’t sell him. One of us (I’m not sure who) noticed that he was flaring his gills a lot more than was normal.

Flaring is when a betta opens his two gills flaps on the sides of his head and flares them out wide. It essentially doubles the size of his body from a head-on viewpoint, and makes him look more threatening to any potential competitors. Males tend to do it as a show of aggression and territorial claiming. It’s the betta way of saying “Hey, that food belongs to me!” or “Get out of my turf!” or “That babely lady betta over there is all mine, pal, so don’t even think about it!” Two fish that are about to demonstrate why they’re called Siamese Fighting Fish will usually start with a flared-out stand-off. Sometimes they’ll even flare at a mirror if their reflection gives them a bad look!

Now, sometimes bettas do flare without meaning it in an aggressive way, just to stretch their gill flaps out. Kind of like the way we might stretch our arms or roll a stiff neck after staying in one position for too long. But Angry Joe flared way, way more than that. He would flare at any nearby bettas, at people who came to feed him or just got too close to his tank, and we think he flared frequently when no one was around too. He probably wasn’t actually angry all. the. time. the way his stance would seem to indicate, it’s likely it was just an affected behavior or a subconscious response, like a nervous tic or a verbal stutter. Nonetheless, my manager dubbed him ‘Angry Joe’ and we joked that he was just a seething ball of pent-up rage.

We didn’t sell him, keeping him with the other fish that had medical issues. Most other betta fish problems are easy to treat, though, and soon all the others he was shelved with had been patched up and purchased. But Angry Joe stayed his angry-appearing self, and we kept him. After a certain period of time without being sold, our store classifies animals as ‘adoptable’ rather than ‘for sale’ Angry Joe fell into this category, and he became something of a store pet, amusing us employees with his rage-filled presence. We could certainly relate to him after certain days and certain irritating customers.

But that isn’t the end of his story! I came in to work one day, and my manager excitedly told me, “Angry Joe got adopted!” I was pretty bummed I missed it, but a woman came in looking for a fish and fell for his story and grumpy ways. That’s why I don’t have a photo of Joe, but I hope that my effort to paint him captures his likeness. We still see his new owner sometimes, when she comes into the shop. Last I heard, he was doing well and still flaring away.

And that’s why I’m nominating Angry Joe for EmPAWyee of the Month (or should I say EmFINyee of the Month?) He came to us an ordinary fish, developed some anger issues and bad behavior, won our hearts with his sassy attitude, and found a new home that loves him in all his angry glory - quite a tail, wouldn’t you say?