You're Better Than This

The fluorescent lights of the labor room give bright eyes just a few minutes to soak up the light before they are given the first measurements. Then it's on to the races. Weight, height, gender and so forth. How does this "pound" of flesh compare to all the other hapless, innocent children who are still in the nursery? It could be a sign of the future, as misery is life's first sound.

Life is quantified, whether it's obvious or not. Your grades, GPA and height are what determine your strength, intelligence and speed. It shouldn't surprise, then, that this way of thinking will influence society's perspectives as they age. What are you able to offer society? What is your contribution to society? What is your contribution? How can you compare your income, social class, work ethic, and salary to your friends, enemies, and neighbors? How do you measure your worth?

This is a frustratingly good thing for society. The internet is a great place to see that innovation and progression are inseparable from competition. We might not have the infrastructure or conveniences we now take for granted without this driving force. This simplified view of life overlooks the psychological stress that it causes, especially when there is failure.

Dean Furness focuses on these points quite a bit in his TED talk. He talks about closing the door to what he was once, focusing on himself and reorienting his priorities. I was inspired by his speech to reflect on my life and how it affects my outlook. It's amazing how much time we spend worrying about unnecessary comparisons and where we are in our lives. To make others take us seriously, we put on our best clothes. We have a back-and-forth battle for bragging rights at our dinners. I have seriously thought about inviting future HR managers to dinners with me and my family. There is no better hype man than their mother for young Asian men.

The cultural significance of competition aside. Dean Furness makes a very important point, which I find frighteningly accurate. He says that the various data points can make it seem impossible to overcome challenges and life. It is easy to fall into a defeatist mindset. It can be very difficult to accept your numerical standing in comparison with others. This flawed reasoning is often a result of procrastination, which can lead to the abandonment of ambition. Studies have proven this. This data, which is measured and scrutinized by us, can't be overstated. It is intimate and personal. This data can be harnessed to our individual goals and used to reorient your ethos towards self-affirmation. You can achieve amazing things.

My turning point, for me, was at my lowest point, paralleling Dean's life experiences. Although it was not as difficult as Dean's experience, rock bottom proved to the best ground for liftingoff. It can be difficult to deprogramme the toxic, deep-rooted mindset of childhood and then grasp your worth as a result of self-improvement, rather than tunnel visioning into feeling better than others. This led me to see failure as an opportunity to learn, rather than focusing on the negative consequences.

Dean's story about how he felt he was questioned his work and worth while surrounded by experts in his field resonated with me. I have also been overwhelmed by despair. It seemed impossible to connect with my peers and that it was futile to try and reach them. This mentality was dangerous. Instead, we should focus on achieving our goals brick by brick. I just made a habit of trying to exceed my previous results each day. Before I knew it, all the things I thought were impossible had become possible quietly over time.

It can take a lot of time. It takes time to achieve greatness. This may mean a lot of solitude. It's important to have a positive outlook on life, to be happy in your own company, to be happy within yourself, to be resilient to self-deprecating negativity and frustration. Success is possible with the help of close friends. They can keep you grounded and keep track of your progress. They are also helpful if you have imposter syndrome.

"What is your average?" Are you able to focus on being more than your average?

Sometimes, the most significant breakthroughs in self-improvement or success can be made through extreme sacrifice. To have a positive outlook, it is important to overcome the competitive tendencies society instills in us as children. This is not an easy task, even though it may sound simple. To keep your head above water, mental fortitude and constant self-affirmation is important. You should determine your value and not what others think. What is your average? Dean asks, "Can you put your focus on being better than average?". This is the core of my disposition. You reach a point in your life when everything around you becomes static and you realize that you are your greatest competitor. This is where your true journey begins, I believe.