Why it’s so hard to believe in yourself…

“I don’t believe I can be successful”

“I don’t believe it’s meant for me”

“I’m just not meant to be that person”

On any given day, it’s likely that at least one of these thoughts have gone through your mind (especially given that you chose to click on this particular story).

And the saddest thing of all, is that it’s normally the most talented people that feel this. The ones that have spent their whole lives striving for success. Where 99% was a failure and failure was not an option.

They will have ALL the letters after their name, have a million and one qualifications from high ranking universities and accreditation bodies…but still feel like they’re just winging it.

Waiting for somebody to jump out and point out the fact that they really don’t know anything and they really shouldn’t be in the room.

I know this because this is me. I am this person. And this is something which I see in my clients time and time again. It’s the wonderfully smart cookies who feel like they’ve got nothing to offer.

Because at some point in their past, something has happened which has made them believe they are not worthy of success. That they really shouldn’t strive for their goals. That they really are stupid and just waiting for somebody to prove this.

“YOU STUPID GIRL”

Mine was my 5th year teacher who stood me up in front of the class and dressed me down for saying the Mary Celeste wrong. “You stupid girl”, still rings in my ears to this day.

From that day on, I unconsciously decided to become a perfectionist to avoid having to ever feel that shame and embarrassment ever again. I worked until I was ill, learning every page of every school book for every subject so I could answer every question 100%. I can still picture revision books from my GCSE’s in minute detail!

This is all it takes. One moment in your life. One comment.

I’m sure Mr Lloyd doesn’t remember this or know of the impact it has had on my entire life. But this is all it takes to stop us believing in ourselves.

We then spend the rest of our lives looking for evidence to prove our theories correct. Even though it hurts us. Every “failed” test, every “wrong” answer, every rejection…all prove that Mr Lloyd was in fact correct. I am stupid and therefore I do not believe that I can be successful.

Because belief and success go hand in hand. Without belief it is hard to find any long lasting success. And without success, it is hard to believe that you deserve it! Especially if you use an evidence based convincer strategy, needing evidence of past wins to prove you can achieve something before you try it.

But it is possible to change all of this. It is possible to rewrite this story and believe in your core that you are perfect just as you are and you deserve all the success in the world.

It's possible to rewire your brain’s subconscious programmes that run on autopilot, with new and empowering ones which serve you in becoming the success story that you crave to be.

External success comes from internal integration.

When you clear out those unhelpful stories, beliefs and emotions that are stored within you and replace them with more empowering ones which are cohesive throughout, then (and only then) you start to see external success.

When your conscious mind (the goal setter) and your subconscious mind (the goal getter) work together in harmony. When you learn to trust yourself again at a core level, forgive yourself and allow yourself to speak your truth.

This is when you believe you can.

If you’re interested in finding out how, click here