Well, Well, Wellness. What Do We Have Here?

As an expert in wellness, I felt particularly compelled to write this piece. I have, after all, completed my skincare routine twice this week, considered going to the gym last night and currently have salad mix in my fridge. I follow wellness influencers, saving their tips and tricks for a time that I am not already nestled into my bed. I take multiple vitamins most days. I am up at 5 A.M. (note the “am” replacing “wake” in that sentence.) I clearly have my life together.

That being said, this year, I am giving up sarcasm.

That, of course, being sarcastic.

In all seriousness, on January 31, 2020, t-minus two hours until we rang in the new year, I said to myself, “Hm, maybe I should have some resolutions,” before quickly dismissing it with a “nah” and the rationalization that “lifestyle changes should not be restricted by dates,” rather than the truth that I was in no place to be making radical advancements toward wellness seeing as I was still sitting in a Comfy and fuzzy slippers far past the socially acceptable time that day.

It goes without saying that I, as has any other person who has Pinterest and/or knows what a jade roller is, have had my fair share of self-care cycles. Days I’ve soaked, shaked, and shellacked by body and face with every product I own. Days I’ve read, and lied in bed, inhaled essential oils and spoiled myself. Inversely, there were days where I became my own drill sergeant: waking up at 5 A.M., going to the gym, taking cold showers, studying what was mandated and what was not, seeking perfection, burning out. I have always been an extremist. Experiencing life in blacks and whites. And unfortunately, Isaac Newton knew his stuff, as my highs match my lows -- every action having an equal and opposite reaction.

Maybe finding that grey area will be my resolution.

Though where would the fun be in that? Milling through life in a middle ground is no way to live.

Once you have gotten this far, it is rather evident that maybe I, a random 19 year old, am not the one who possesses the secret to success in life, and perhaps you should just recycle the big three that everyone seems to cling to around this time:

Eat better

Work out

Save money

These are the words that are scrawled in the middle of the night when a sudden wave of realization overtakes exhaustion, urgently reminding one to get their life together before the sun rises. They are, though written in intentionally neat, tall letters, equivalent to all the grocery lists carelessly forgotten at home, causing the buyer to leave the store with a basket of processed pastries and clearance candles while the essentials await their expiration dates. These words are empty.

All the same, it seemed I too could not come up with anything better, as I slurped on an already drained drink, stared at a blank screen and shut my laptop to begin the trek back from the brightly lit boba shop that was supposed to spark inspiration in me. T-minus 5 hours until this should be submitted, I thought to myself, “Should I even be writing this?” However, crossing the street right in front of my apartment building, I spotted something black and white (right up my alley -- literally). Swiping it just before oncoming traffic left tire marks on my hand, I unfolded the paper to reveal a divine sign: “12 Steps for Self Care.”

If it feels wrong, don’t do it.

This should be common sense, but with common sense being not so common, it has to be said. As humans, we have the best of both worlds with a conscience and instincts guiding us. Be smart: use your head and your heart.

Say “exactly” what you mean.

Don’t expect to hit anything if you keep beating around the bush. Being direct may be more difficult, but it saves a lot of problematic uncertainties for both parties in the long run.

Don’t be a people pleaser.

Your worth is not dependent on others’ opinions. There are 7.7 billion opinions in the world; do not let yours go unvoiced for fear of rejection. That is not you just trying to be polite. It is self-sabotage. Authenticity will bring the right people to you.

Trust your instincts.

If you can’t trust your instincts, you can’t trust yourself. They are there for a reason. Stop second-guessing what you know deep down is right.

Never speak bad about yourself.

Our words become reality. Sure, learn to laugh at yourself, but do not let self-deprecation be your brand. Instead, practice affirmations and see your life fully change for the better. How you hold yourself is how others will perceive you. Let that be in the best light.

Never give up on your dreams.

Not for fear of failure. Not for an oversaturated market. Not for anything. If you are passionate about something, pursue it. There is a plethora of knowledge at our fingertips. Use it. Practice and perfect. There is truly nothing you are not capable of (aside from flying, and I’m not even entirely sure that has been ruled out yet).

Don’t be afraid to say “No”.

Time is the most valuable asset we have. Do not get sucked into situations you know you do not want to be a part of simply for social obligations. No one worth being around will hate you for setting boundaries.

Don’t be afraid to say “Yes”.

Accept help from people. Take that opportunity. Try that thing. Saying yes to what is good for you opens doors, expands your network and overall makes you a more positive, confident, well-rounded person.

Be KIND to yourself.

You are the only you you will ever get. Be the best version of that that you can. Add a little remix to The Golden Rule, and treat yourself how you want others to treat you. Know that you are worthy of taking up space and your existence is crucial to the plotline of this planet. If the flap of a butterfly wing can cause atmospheric changes on the other side of the world, think of what you are capable of.

Let go of what you can’t control.

Which is basically everything outside of yourself. All that you can change is yourself. Align yourself with what is right and let everything play out as it will, because that’s the only thing you can do. Fretting over what might happen only hurts you and will never change the outcome.

Stay away from drama and negativity.

It is bad for the mind, soul and body. Everything is energy and being surrounded by negativity will only bring more into your life. Notice how on off days, it seems as if everything that could go wrong does. When we focus on the bad, more bad follows. Surround yourself with people and places that feel like sunlight.

12. Love.

A wise old tag off my Yogi tea once said, “The essence of life is to communicate love.” I have never agreed with a 1 inch piece of paper more. Love is what all of this boils down to. All religions agree on this. It is The Fifth Element (sorry, spoiler alert). It brings birth, celebrations, sacrifices and everything in between. It is truly all we need, though it seems there is a severe lack these days. Empathy for the fellow man is what will keep us from destruction.

If nothing else resonates, at least take from this to start picking up litter from the streets. This is our home. Treat it as such.

Now if only I can remember to grab the grocery list off the counter and follow my own advice, I’ll be set for this year and beyond.