Wanderlust Fever - Thoughts - Feelings - Success All These Can Change Your Life Forever

All of my life I wanted to travel the world, I used to make a list of places to travel. I've not been to those places as of yet. I remember as a kid I would, when stuck on a scene for a short story I would look out my window imagining what it would be like to be to be out in different countries.

I never felt like where I lived at was truly my home. I always longed for freedom, now that I have it almost anticlimactic to most and for me at the time. For the simple reason I didn't think I deserved it.

When I first arrived in Saint Lucia last year on September 5th I felt like it was so surreal. To be in darkness of verbal, and psychological abuse, now out of the darkness.

As soon as, August 22, 2021 happened realizing I was free it was weird for me. I only had a bag, and my purse. Only a few pieces of clothes, while I watch the remains of my discarded objects be removed from a home that never felt like a home.

When someone admitted to me they read my diaries it felt like a betrayal. All the while looking back at all my personal thoughts how I perceived them though their actions. I am called out for my feelings and thoughts to be a not so nice to write about. I never thought no one would read them.

The last time I was in the house of horrors I was trying to open my former bedroom to get my stuff but they loved me out. Writing about this, some may find it to be a lie but I saw the pictures on my honeymoon Suzanne Foutty sent them to me.

I regret sometimes looking back on how I was. She asked me to buy her some apple juice for her mom when she had COVD-19. I ran away thinking if my luck I would end up with the illness. If I would have done that for her got apple juice and McDonald's dinner box maybe I would still be friends with her. She would have left money for me in the mailbox.

But because of fear, holding me back I never done it. I lost a good friendship, because of it. And many other reasons. When the family was nothing but kind to me.

There is a saying that I remember learning, Home is when your away you just miss it. When I was away from Saint Lucia for ninety days I truly missed it. I love this Island, but I miss Medina, Ohio I'm tired of running from the darkness when now I'm ready to go back. I just want to be financially stable first.

But again, having wanderlust fever as child made me think about everything I ever thought about.

The first time I filed to receive a US passport. It was the first time I thought this phrase.

"This is my ticket to freedom."

And it was. I just didn't know how much it was. With all the people on my journey through my new life I've learned so much.

Someone once told me,

"You will meet a lot of friends in your journey throughout life. They will come and go, teach you lessons you will never forget."

She was right of course, there have been many people how I grew attached to but never stayed. I never realized until now they only were met to teach me lessons.

I have two large suitcases, and one carry-on worth of clothes, verses what I had a few years ago. When I have a stable income coming in I would love to change my style around.

I want to turn my publishing business slowly into an independent press too. I might work towards both with a few imprints within the business.

I have chosen to locations, but I have to figure out how to make my business into a global Publishing Service.

I did find out the Writing Conferences have been started again even though it's getting bad for COVD-19.

There are so many office ideas I don't know where to begin.

So I simple narrowed it down to when I have the money I will figure it out then. But it doesn't mean I don't dream.

"Dreams can come true if you work...work...work."

Working doesn't mean performing jobs you can't stand, but putting yourself first starting a business of your own.

I remember making a promise to myself, no regrets don't do anything that makes me unhappy.

What makes you unhappy? If you are so unhappy when are you still doing it? For the first time opening this business starting out small working my way up slowly promoting nonstop, slowly progress is being made.

I've not read anything good in a very long time. Not since reading House of Night Series by my favorite author's PC and Kristin Cast. It's been so long I miss curling up to a good book a physical hardcover book with a cup of hot chocolate or pumpkin spice latte in comfy clothes. I will be doing this again one day, just not right now.

"I've never read my books I've written."

Johnny Depp has a rough life abusive mother verbally and physically. His dad walked out on him leaving him to be the man of the house. He just couldn't handle it no more. The different between Johnny Depp and me are very simple I relate to him.

"The difference between Johnny and me is quit simple I didn't stay."

I didn't settle for less, there are something I just want to keep out. But I will write in my diary on this matter.

My feelings on Success were mixed at first. I wasn't sure of what to think, I feared it of course. Until my husband told me something I'll never forget.

"Don't be afraid of Success. If you are afraid to be hated then that means you are doing something write. Without haters that means their lives are there to make you stronger."

At this present time, I have a great feeling like I am doing something right for me. Writing and building a small empire has met so much to me. That's what I dreamed of for so long, to become acclaimed, in Saint Lucia I am that. I want to be acclaimed in other places. I want people to look at me know who I am. I want to walk in a café like I used to someone to say, "Ah Emily you want your usual." I did have that in Ohio but it was at Subway I went there so much a worker knew my usual, "Emily you want your usual: Spicy Italian on Italian Bread toasted with a little lettuce, pickles, a lot of banana peppers, Spicy Chipotle sauce, and Sriracha Sauce.

Now when I walk into my favorite coffee shop, at home, Rituals Coffeehouse: "Your usual Mrs. Aurelien Vanilla Chai Latte, almond milk, Cinnamon Raisin bagel egg, cheese, and bacon."

I accomplished my goal making Top Story writing an amazing story about the Beloved Queen Elizabeth the II. It felt so good to accomplish something and receiving 5.00 bonus from writing this piece and so many people reading it and praising me for writing something so amazing. It definitely makes me feel great inside. My next goal challenge I've been working towards for almost two years winning first place in challenge on Vocal at least twice. I would be proud to have that accomplishment under my belt. I am the first person in my family to slowly build up to owning my business legit the only thing I have to do is a few things register my business in two areas. I will write about how I did that when I have done this.

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