Wall of Shame

If these walls could talk,

It would tell the story of a little chocolate girl, whose family

called her "Danny."

A girl who never quite fit in;

She was born an only child, into a family whose lineage started in Mississippi and ended in Missouri.

Granddaughter of Mary on her mother's side.

Granddaughter of Estelle and Craddox, on her father's side.

She grew up in the heart of the city.

Learning from three wise women,

who sat on their porches;

watching her and her friends play.

Ms. Henderson.

Ms. Cook

My grandmother, Ms. Mary

If these walls could talk it would tell of a girl, who got in trouble for getting her hair wet after having it pressed, in a hot kitchen.

Whose Grandmother would give her an umbrella so she could play in the sun, without getting "too dark."

If these walls could talk, they would tell how most of her life, she felt unseen. And when someone finally did see her, they made her feel ashamed of what they saw. She felt abandoned.

They simply saw someone who was not beautiful, because of her skin color. So, the little girl developed a personality. One of humor; this is how she made fake friends.

She figured out that it didn't matter how smart she was, or how beautiful she knew she was, as long as she made people laugh it was cool. But, these people never took her seriously.

The little girl didn't figure this out, until she was a 40-year-old adult.

And, if these walls could talk, it would whisper about the death of the little girl's father, who left her alone in the cruel world at age 12. The walls would weep because the little girl, was never the same again.

She searched for the love of her father through the hearts of boys.

At 15, she began to self -medicate.

She willingly gave her most precious gift, to entities that tainted her body and spirit.

Years later, she would experience the pain of abandonment again.

The walls would explain, that no matter how she went out of her way for family and friends, it would never be enough.

The little girl grew up, but her heart was still 12.

She didn't understand until later in life, that she had never been loved unconditionally by a man.

She didn't get this, until age 42.

This realization angered her and made her slightly bitter.

If these walls could talk, it will show a woman who breaks herself down each day. But, before the day is over, she builds herself back up.

She has no choice.

Her family depends on her.

She has no one to talk to who can understand the constant pain,

she experiences on a daily basis.

She had one son.

In her twenties, she entered into an abusive relationship.

And though she was not beat everyday,

she suffered from emotional and mental abuse.

Now the young woman had already suffered losses that gave her low self esteem.

So, she didn't see the damage he was causing her.

He, stepped on her dreams.

He, encouraged her not to go to school until he was finished.

And she put away her dreams, to live his.

He then cheated on her numerous times with love interests that had something going on for themselves. Yet, he wanted her to become all the lies he had told to others...That she, was nothing.

There was no support.

Just love, under conditions.

One day it got to be all too much.

So, the little brown girl started thinking,

maybe she would be loved, once she is dead.

Thoughts of suicide filled her head.

She knew if she stayed with this man, any longer,

she would continue to die inside.

So, while he slept, she said a prayer for him,

Kissed him on his forehead,

And she never looked back.

Now the woman on the outside,

protects the little girl on the inside.

She is fierce.

She fell to her knees,and started praying.

Praying for the love of a father she never knew.

Praying for a love of her own.

Praying for peace within herself.

If these walls could talk, they would bleed, and say,

"Little Brown girl.....I'm sorry they did that to you."