Unexpected Gift

It was March 10th of the year 2018. The day I met love, the day I felt like life finally had a purpose. For a moment, I knew no trouble and life was innocent. I had just given birth to beauty. His name was Adonis. I named him after me, Adriene. His eyes were perfect & his skin was unmatched. He had a smile that would capture souls one day. I laid in the hospital room with him cuddled on my chest. I would have given anything to make this feeling last indefinitely. It was as if we were in our own little world.

As I laid in my bed, admiring his beauty, I heard a loud knock. A quiet voice whispered, “It’s me.” It was my ex boyfriend, Jaedyn. We met when we were 17, through mutual friends. We never had a true relationship. It was more of an one- night fling & friendship. He didn’t believe that Adonis belonged to him because he pulled out. This caused us to become distant throughout my pregnancy. He walked in and barely spoke. He picked up Adonis and gazed into his eyes. He mumbled “He’s beautiful.” I looked and smiled. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out an Walgreens DNA TEST. “ I just want to be sure. I don’t want to fall in love with a child who is not mines.” At first, I was hurt, but I realized that it may be for the best.

Days Later, I was allowed to leave the hospital. I drove myself home. I could not wait to show Adonis our home. As I pulled into the driveway, my phone rung. It was Jaedyn. I answered immediately. “It’s mines, He’s mines,” he cried. “Do you want to come over?” I asked readily. He replied “Of course I do.”

A couple of weeks of bonding and celebrating our greatest blessing had passed. He was an wonderful father. I loved that about him. One night, we both stayed up til Midnight watching POWER. He told me that he was getting ready to leave for the Army. He asked me to marry him. I wasn’t ready and I didn’t want to force myself to do something I just didn’t want to do. He was upset. He looked me in my eyes and said “I will take him from you.” I was furious. He played it off as if it was a joke. He apologized and I forgave him. Time passed and It was time for him to go. He had convinced me that it would be better if our family was together. I finally agreed to marriage.

After 3 months, he returned from Basic Training. I feared he had changed. I was afraid he wouldn’t be the same yet I admired his strength. We were stationed FORT KNOX, KY. It was beautiful. Life had seem perfect. We were happy. The only thing left to do was to give our son his last name. We should have done that to begin with. We went to the Clerk’s Office, paid $25 and the rest was history. When we got into the car, his demeanor changed. He was less friendly, less patient, and he treated me as if I was intolerable. I thought maybe he was in a bad mood, maybe I should just give him space.

When we got home, I went to the kitchen to prepare dinner. He went straight into his personal study. After I finished, I knocked on his door. He answered, “What the fuck do you want?” I opened the door and sat down his plate. He picked it up and threw it at me and yelled, “Don’t you see that I’m busy?” I cleaned up the mess and left him be. Me and Adonis ate. After we finished I gave our son a bath & put him to bed. I laid in our bed alone for the first time in our whole entire marriage. Hours later, my husband crawled into our bed and fell asleep. I was curious to know what he was working on that was more important than me. I snucked out of our room and into his study. On his desk was a little black book. One that I have never seen. I opened the book and read

“Everything is planned, I am in this world alone. STAY FOCUSED ON THE REAL GOAL. It is just me and Adonis. There is no such thing as love. The Only thing that matters is being rich....

I cried so loud that I didn’t hear him get up. He bust down the door and struck me against my face. “You know that you are not allowed in this room, GET THE FUCK OUT NOW.” I had enough. I was tired of being manipulated. Everything was a lie. I fought back hard. I beat the living daylights out of him. I didn’t care. He ran to the phone and called the police. I was scared. I grabbed my son and tried to run. I didn’t care about anything else. I just wanted my baby. The police came rushing down the street. They arrested me. They took our son and gave Jaedyn temporary custody. I was banned from Fort Knox.

Weeks passed, he packed all of my things and filed for a divorce. I had nowhere to go. No family. Nothing, but a 2002 Honda Accord. I slept in my car for months and worked fast food jobs. One day, I got off work early and found the little black book lying under the passenger seat. Did he send it to provoke me? It was the only thing I had left, other than a couple of outfits. I held it and cried. I thought to myself, if I hadn’t got out of bed, If I hadn’t fought back. I would still be with my family. I threw the little black book & blamed it. I was homeless because of it. I was hungry because of it. I was alone because of it.

After a month, I was permitted to have 1 supervised visit with my son. I showed up to the military gate for my visit 30 mins early. I missed my baby. I was excited to see him. My ex husband car pulled up but my ex husband was not in it. A woman popped open the door to a 2019 Hellcat Charger. She grabbed my son and walked to me. She whispered “It’s time to visit your other mom now.” I completely lost it. After I gave her a piece of my mind, she grabbed my son and put him back in the car and left. I later received an restraining for Adonis Williams and Jaedyn Williams because he claimed that I was “unstable.” Fuck unstable, I was hurt. I was replaced and forgotten about within a month.

3 months had passed. It was time for my divorce. I showed up to court and my son didn’t even notice me. I was a stranger to him. I sat and saw how happy he was without out me. The Judge granted Jaedyn full custody of our son. My life no longer had purpose. I was angry and suicidal. After court I went back to my car-partment. I grabbed the little black book and handful of pills to swallow. I tried so hard to end my misery. I wanted to end all suffering. But I couldn’t. I was a dead-beat and a coward. The little black book was all I had left.

Over time, I ignored my pain. I treated it as if it didn’t exist. I wasn’t happy but I wasn’t sad. I was just flowing with life. One day, I grew tired of feeling nothing. I grew tired of quiet self pity. I cried to God, and asked why me? No answer. The little black book was all I had left. I opened the little black book and read...

“Everything is planned, I am in this world alone. STAY FOCUSED ON THE REAL GOAL. It is just me and Adonis. There is no such thing as love. The Only thing that matters is being rich....

The one quote that literally ruined my life was actually an answer to all of my problems. There is no such thing as love. In this generation, Love is just an forgotten thought. I need to stay focus on real goals because I am just alone and this little black book is all I have left.

After this realization, I became better. I excersized everyday. I ran everyday. I even picked up boxing. Every time I felt discouraged I remembered...

“Everything is planned, I am in this world alone. STAY FOCUSED ON THE REAL GOAL. It is just me and Adonis. There is no such thing as love. The Only thing that matters is being rich....

2 years later and I am the highest paid black female professional boxer in the United States. I’ve earned 3 Olympic Gold Metals and because I never gave up I am here to tell my story today. This little black book was the greatest thing I had left.