Top 10 Tips on How to Feel Better About Yourself

Life is definitely thrilling, full of joys and adventures, but it would be a lie to say it is not also full of hardships. The death of a loved one, professional disappointments and social pressures can take a toll even on the thickest-skinned people. Our worlds can come crumbling down, and in those moments, an appropriate dose of good-old philosophical wisdom can help us find our way back home.

Bear in mind, this article is not about pre-cooked microwave tips to give you a short-lived confidence shot, but a practical guide to a profound, long-term transformation that will increase your sense of self-worth. We hope to inspire readers to implement a deep and meaningful change that could last for a lifetime, getting you out of the dark whole you might find yourself in.

Here are our 10 tips to feel better about yourself!

1. Have a purpose

This one is crucial. We must give meaning to our lives. The best way is to set ourselves a realistic, truly personal and intimate objective after giving ourselves the time to search deep within us. It could be a career goal. It could be a humanitarian cause, or a volunteer job. It could be family. Ask yourself: what am I in this world for? What could I do to make my life meaningful? A purpose will not necessarily make your life easier, but it will give you self-respect and a sense of self-worth like nothing else.

2. Respect and love yourself

Here comes one of the greatest ironies in life: we should be our own best friend, but more often than not we are our own worst enemy. The irony goes further: oftentimes, the people that loathe themselves the most are the ones who deserve the biggest praise. Past traumas and childhood upbringing are usually behind chronic levels of low self-esteem. Start by taking care of yourself. Good life habits are the biggest sign of self love. Eat healthy, exercise regularly, clean your apartment, go to therapy, dig up the root causes. In Jordan Peterson’s words: treat yourself like someone who deserves to be helped.

3. Accept the hard parts of life and learn to love them

As life goes on and we look back on our younger years, we realize that the moments that mattered the most were the ones we spent fighting. And fighting is unavoidable. As Paolo Coelho said: “fight for your dreams, or others will impose theirs upon you.” We must fight for our objectives, for our self-respect, for our family and loved ones. Welcome hardship! Who hasn’t had a terrible job and has come out feeling stronger and more sure of what they want? Who hasn’t been in a terrible relationship and has come out feeling thankful? The moments that will matter the most are the ones we spent fighting.

4. Spend time with your loved ones

A famous quote by Sigmund Freud goes as follows: “before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure you are not, in fact, just surrounded by assholes.” The lesson to be extracted is that we should choose wisely the people we love and give our time to. If they deserve you, make sure you water the plant of friendship. Not spending enough time with loved ones came first on the list of the biggest regrets people have before they die. The value of connection is incalculable. The need of belonging and the longing for friendship are deeply wired in the human psyche. No man is an island.

5. Forgive yourself

Guilt has greatly increased in recent years, particularly in the younger generations, under the pressures of social media, public scrutiny, environmental stress and the pinpointing of racial and/or sexual privileges. Follow Paul McCartney’s advice: don’t carry the world upon your shoulders. We are all human, we are all flawed and fragile beings. Accept this and try to build a better version of yourself from such consideration. If you do not succeed, try not to hate yourself. Live to fight another day. Fail again. Fail better.

6. Change what you can, and accept what can’t be changed

Human beings are not only conditioned by socio-cultural constructs, but also determined by biological parameters. Our brains are designed to release greater doses of endorphins if we are desirable members of society. So take care of your appearance. Wear nice clothes, eat healthy, read books, get in shape. If you are a woman, be different, be edgy. If you are a short man, work out. If you are bald, consider a hair transplant.

7. Engage in creative endeavors

One of the best ways of getting rid of bad emotions is to express them. While some people prefer to do boxing, others rather paint, sing or dance their troubles away. Free yourself from burden and open yourself up. Loving oneself means nothing else than loving life. Go outdoors, reconnect yourself with nature, visit a museum, go to the movies. Find that lost purity back, be amazed at the world.

8. Identify the problem and tackle it

Chances are, if you feel bad about yourself, there might be an actual problem outside or around you. It might be someone in your life. It might be your job. Identify what it is and extirpate it like a surgeon gets rid of an infection. If the problem is a person, resort to diplomacy. If it is your work, give yourself some time to come up with more efficient ways of reaching your goals. There is a solution to every problem, and every problem is a chance of learning something new.

9. Be thankful for what you have

We spend too much time telling ourselves what we have to do, what we ought to do, what we should have done. How about changing this and expressing gratitude instead? You have made it this far, you are a survivor! You are the last link of a chain of heroes and heroines stretching millions of years into the past. This alone is enough to feel proud.

10. Be patient, remember that everything is alright

More often than not, our problems are rather products of our mind and not real issues. Be aware of this and dissolve negative mind constructs. Realize that everything is going to be alright. In fact, everything is already fine, at this moment, right now. Meditate, do yoga, practice mindfulness, or read poetry, like Antonio Machado:

Learn how to wait, let the tide flow

Like a boat on the beach,

And don’t let departure stress you.

Those who waits know that victory is theirs,

Because life is long, and art is a toy.

And if life is short

and the tide does not reach your ship,

Wait without departing and keep on waiting,

Because art is long, and also, it does not matter.