Time to Smile :)

As I sit, at this moment, in front of my bedroom window capturing the subtle struggle between sun and clouds; of who defeats the other to provide either sunshine or bleakness to the world below; a sudden warmth runs through my body. A strange feeling embodies my soul and a sudden smile lit on my face as I realize that is what life is about. Life is a tug of war between sunshine and rain: both aspects nourishing our souls with a mix of smiles and tears.

Amidst all the unpredictability that life offers there is the beauty of the unknown. Some may view this concept as daunting because when you aren’t aware of what may happen: you may fear the future unknown moments. Nevertheless, there is the saying ‘ignorance is bliss’, so not knowing may act as a shade to something you may not want to know.

When you are confronted with a dilemma you have a choice; either take the leap of faith that involves blind trust; or you can find your way through a quest of the unknown. Either of the choices carves your path to personal happiness or despair.

In spite of the choices one makes, there is always the inner voice that urges you to thrive for bliss and joy. It’s a push that compels you to search for moments when you can smile from the heart: moments that instil a deep sense of serenity and happiness.

Every person has their share of moments where they feel helpless, constricted and suffocated; and in order to survive those challenging moments one must turn to something that maneuvers their emotions and mind to something that is positive and refreshing.

My first eventful moment was when I was finalizing my divorce: I often wondered why my ex could never get what I tried to communicate; was it because he was a mentally immature person, or perhaps his mind was locked in a box and was rotting inside it and he had no idea how to fix it. Perhaps, I was an over thinker who went through thoughts and emotions by repeatedly questioning and grinding them till I was exhausted. Perhaps, I was a planner who didn’t want to be taken by surprise or to walk into a blind alley.

In an article written by Andrea Downey (The Sun, August 8, 2017), she wrote that while men had active visual and coordination parts of the brain; women tended to exhibit more strength in empathy, intuition, self-control, and collaboration.

It was around the same time that a friend of mine forwarded me a video by Mark Gungor, titled: Tale of Two Brains- Men’s vs. Women’s Brains. When I watched it I laughed so hard as I figured out what makes women a multitasker and an empathizer.

I was amused by how Mark Gungor had set up the whole scenario and added humor to a serious topic. From my perspective, what he said was absolutely correct as it answered my question about a man’s limitation in understanding a woman’s point of view. While men may think they have figured out women, they actually haven’t. They may make as much fun of a woman’s brain, but they can never get near to what women think or how their thought process works.

Watching the video, I was amused by the way the narrator explains his perspective. Through humor he presents a picture of a woman’s frenzied brain compared to a man’s organized box form brain.

I instantly thought that my ex’s box was long taped up and left to rot in a dark corner and he could not understand anything I said because he was incapable of transmitting and linking one idea to another. His brain was not capable of understanding simple things of life, because he always lived in that empty box. As the curtain of reality was lifted, my puzzle was solved and I could take a sigh of relief that he had a manufacturing defect.

Watching this video brought me out of my anxiety that maybe I was the one who could not make him understand. It wasn’t me, it was the way his brain worked. Thus, thereon I stopped wasting my energy to find an answer to his shortcoming. I let it be........and was content.

Even today, when I see an unhappy woman trying to find answers to her man’s inability to understand or comprehend her I pass this video on. Even if it is for a single smile that may light up her face; it is worth the watch.

While such moments temporarily bring joy to your face, my actual happiness comes when I look at my memories with my daughters.

Motherhood is not only a state in which you are responsible for giving birth or raising a child; but for me it is more of seeing a part of you grow and develop; of providing a hand and responding to the needs and wants of your child; of accepting and forgiving the child despite all opposition. Everyday you see what they accomplish and how they succeed.

In all my accomplishments and success, I consider them to be my most prized possessions and source of delight and joy.

A few years back, on my birthday my daughters gifted me a beautiful card that was a collage of pictures depicting different timelines in our life. Seeing that I could literally visualize each moment and its positive impact on my life.

It was like a flashback into my life when my daughters came into my life. Each picture opened up the memories I had stored in my mind: those memories that I always cherished and found solace.

Starting from the time when the girls came in my life, to the times we put masks and makeup on each other’s faces, going on picnics and making weird selfies; each memory embodies laughter and joy.

Their impact is eternal and priceless. Every time my past pains start to engulf me in its darkness, I always escape to this collage of images and remember that the only good thing from my past was my daughters. Their giggles, their secret conversations, their naughty glances, their loud laughter and their weird ideas all complete the void that had left me broken after my divorce.

Apart from the above memories, in order to escape from the dreary thoughts of life, I became hooked to Trevor Noah’s videos. His website is a collection of his shows and videos that instantly take you to a world of laughter.

I started watching Trevor Noah’s shows online through Youtube and Facebook videos and was mesmerized by the variety and diversity of topics and how he merged comedy with serious topics. His videos are hilarious as it is a combination of humor and real life situations. He merges laughter and comedy in situations with such beauty that one forgets the worries of life.

Today, the world is facing a serious pandemic; we are locked in our homes, self-isolating to save others and ourselves. Being used to a routine where it is hard to find a moment to relax or to laugh wholeheartedly, it becomes imperative for us to find an outlet to relax and to feel happy.

I find that it is very challenging to make people laugh; you can easily make them cry over reality. But, provoking genuine laughter in people is a talent and Trevor Noah’s videos fulfil that purpose.

Every time I watch Trevor’s videos or shows, no matter how many times I have viewed them previously my face lights up again and I am all smiles. His way of connecting thoughts to positive ideas is amazing. His choice of words, actions, sounds and expressions is simply hilarious.

I would like to conclude by saying that I thoroughly enjoyed my experiences of joy with all the readers because it was a chance for me to smile and share them with others to make it more long-lasting.

Life is not a bed of roses for anyone; the secret to living each moment comes in the choice of the path we take. Either we can drown into a dismal and dreary situation by provoking depressing thoughts; or we can find joy and laughter in our memories, choices and actions. The choice is up to to us!