Things I Wish I Knew in My 20s

I used to think my twenties were the time to figure everything out.

Career, love, money, identity — all of it. Like if I didn’t "make it" by 29, I had failed at life. So I hustled, rushed, compared, chased… and burned out.

Now, looking back from my 30s, I realize how much pressure I was carrying — silently. And I wish I could sit with my younger self, look him in the eye, and tell him these truths.

So, to anyone in their 20s who feels lost, behind, or not enough — this is for you.

1. You Don’t Have to Have It All Figured Out

Everyone’s pretending. That’s the secret. The people who look like they’ve got it together? They’re winging it too. Life doesn’t click into place by 25. Most of us are still experimenting well into our 30s, 40s — even 50s.

It’s okay to not know what you want. Try things. Quit things. Pivot. Life isn’t a straight line. It’s a messy, looping, beautiful mess.

2. Your Job Doesn’t Define You

Your career isn’t your identity. It’s what you do — not who you are.

I wasted years chasing titles and burning myself out in jobs I hated because I thought success was a job description. But fulfillment comes from alignment, not applause.

Find work that feels meaningful. Or use your job to fund the life you want outside of work. Either way, you’re not your LinkedIn headline.

3. Relationships Will Change — That’s Normal

Some people are seasonal. Friends you thought would be around forever may drift. Others may show up unexpectedly and feel like home.

That’s not failure. It’s growth.

Learn to let go without bitterness. Not everyone is meant to walk the whole journey with you — and that’s okay.

4. You Can Start Over — Anytime

There’s no “too late” in your 20s. Switch careers. Move cities. End toxic relationships. Go back to school. Start a business. It’s not a setback — it’s you getting brave enough to choose again.

The people who inspire you most? They probably started over — more than once.

5. Take Care of Your Body — It Won’t Always Bounce Back

You can’t out-hustle a bad lifestyle forever. Sleep matters. Movement matters. What you eat affects your brain, not just your body.

I wish I had rested more, stretched more, drank more water, and treated myself like someone worth taking care of.

Health is wealth — and in your 20s, you’re still investing in your future body.

6. Stop Comparing. Seriously.

Comparison is a liar. It will steal your peace, your joy, and your progress.

You’re not behind — you’re on your own path. Your timeline doesn’t need to match anyone else’s. Someone else’s success isn’t your failure.

Celebrate others. Stay in your lane. Trust your journey.

7. Money Isn’t Evil — But Ignoring It Is

I wish I had learned how money works earlier. Not just how to make it, but how to manage it.

Budget. Save. Invest. Learn about credit. Avoid lifestyle inflation. The sooner you get smart with money, the more freedom you’ll have later.

Don’t spend to impress. Spend to build.

8. Self-Respect > Being Liked

People-pleasing is a trap. You’ll twist yourself into someone you’re not just to be accepted — and lose yourself in the process.

Say no when you mean it. Speak up. Choose peace over popularity. The right people will respect your boundaries.

Your job isn’t to be liked by everyone. It’s to live a life you’re proud of.

9. Healing Is Your Responsibility

Blaming your past won’t build your future. Yes, maybe you were hurt. Misunderstood. Abandoned. But healing — that’s on you now.

Therapy, journaling, forgiveness — whatever it takes. Carrying your pain into every new chapter will only keep you stuck.

Heal. Not to forget — but to be free.

10. You Are Allowed to Change

You’re not supposed to stay the same. Change your mind. Your style. Your dreams. Your beliefs.

Growth isn’t a betrayal of who you were. It’s proof you’re still becoming.

I used to think my twenties were about proving something. Now I see they were about becoming someone — slowly, painfully, beautifully.

So if you’re in your 20s and you feel lost: breathe.

You’re not behind. You’re not broken. You’re just beginning.

And every mistake, every heartbreak, every confused, late-night question — it’s all part of it.

One day, you’ll look back and realize:

You were never failing. You were just growing.