The Truth About The Arena

Brene Brown’s idea of ‘the Arena’ comes from a famous speech by Theodore Roosevelt back in 1910 titled “Man in the Arena”. The speech goes a little something like this:

"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly, who errs, who comes short again and again; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows, in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat."

The part in that speech we have to pay the most attention to is “The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood”.

Picture yourself, ‘facedown’ in the arena, the whole crowd has gone quiet or everyone is booing and taunting you. Whether it’s on the sports field, on the stage, or at any kind of place where you work or study. No matter how small or big it is, it feels like everyone around is judging you and there is no way out. Your ‘facedown’ moment can feel huge, like being fired from your work or finding out someone you love hasn’t been loyal. Otherwise, it can be small, like getting a bad mark in an exam or doing something embarrassing in front of others.

In Rising Strong, Brene further states that an Arena is a moment or place where we have bared it all; showed up, and risked a part of ourselves. Screwing up in a public speech for a presentation at work or study, tough decisions you have to make as a parent is ‘the arena’, and one of the biggest of all is being in love. Like asking someone out is most definitely in ‘the arena’.

You may be thinking now, “who wants to be face-down in the dirt, I certainly don’t want to be.'' Well, the idea isn’t to stop yourself from getting there, because no matter what you think you can do you will still always manage to at some point fall, and fail. It is about how you pick yourself up, once you have grazed your knees, a broken heart, and some possible scars to show.

We all love a good underdog story, hearing about someone who has risen from the darkness and come out on top. Although quite often, it’s the redemption part at the end that piqued our interest, not the countless times failed at the bottom. It is the reward of victory that is most appealing and celebrated. Of course, high achievement should be recognized for the hard work put in but we should also reward our failures we’ve got back out of. Let us as well not forget about those who also worked hard to strive for greatness to only just fall short, because they should now go again and again, and keep ongoing.

As Thomas Edison said, “I have not failed. I have just found 10,000 ways that won’t work”.

Roosevelt’s speech is also mentioned in Angela Duckworth’s book Grit when she is interviewing Jamie Dimon. He translates the speech into pros for his business manual titled How we do business and this is what he came up with. “Have a fierce resolve in everything you do.” “Demonstrate determination, resilience, and tenacity.” “Do not let temporary setbacks become permanent excuses.” And, “Use mistakes and problems as opportunities to get better-not reasons to quit”.

Celebrate what you think are failures, because quite often they’re really just mini victories hoping to be acknowledged. You may not have written a whole page for your assignment but you wrote a paragraph or just a sentence, you may not have gotten the best workout at the gym but you drove there and stepped inside.

Brene used the term badass, but I personally like a ‘Kickass’ attitude, like a warrior that is ready to take on any battle life brings at them. No challenge is too overwhelming or too unachievable, it is just a chance to attempt what life brings you. After all, it is better to try and fail, than never try at all. The reward isn’t the Gold medal you get at the end of the race, the reward is whatever you’ve gained from it, it can simply be from just being a participant. Being part of the race itself.

Most of all, having a ‘kickass’ attitude is knowing you don’t have to go at it alone, you can have an entourage to stand beside you. It’s speaking up for yourself, or for someone else who may have their face in the dirt. A coach saying, “We didn’t do our best work, I for one can take all the blame for that. Now let’s look at how we can improve”. Reaching out to a friend with, “Look I think I am really struggling and could really use some help right now”.

When you lean into discomfort and allow yourself to be vulnerable with a difficult conversation, that is the true definition of being Kickass. It is easy to hide what you may consider as embarrassments, but it isn’t easy to let them be seen. Owning your failures is what we need more of in society. It’s not just about showing up, it’s also about being willing to pick yourself back up if you do happen to fall.

It is those at the top in important roles shaping society that matter most, the parents, teachers, managers, and politicians. These are the people who must demonstrate what it is like to risk everything, withstand failure, get through regret and endure disappointment. We don’t need people putting their hurt onto others anymore, especially those in power, it sets a bad example for how to lead. Feel through your hurt, don't suppress it, share it with others. Own your story, live by your values, and keep showing up.