The Stagnation of Validation

Validate yourself

At 24 years old I’d realized that I’d spent the better part of my life seeking outward validation rather than looking inward. It’s easy to fall into “gold star” mentality, easy to fall victim to the compliments that always just feel so good, so gratifying, until they fade, until we depend so much on them we keep score. Getting less and less of those “gold stars” our lights start to dim as well and why? Without the power of self and the confidence that comes behind that, validation becomes a prison, where the acknowledgments of others is the only time when we feel seen. To come out of that is to truly see yourself for who you are, all that you have overcome and accomplished. I recently did a loving-kindness meditation that made me remember that importance of self-love, the love and joy I felt toward myself during this guided mediation lit me up again, a smile reached across my face and I took a cleansing, calming deep breath as I remembered…

I am not my mistakes

I am worthy of love

I am worthy of respect

I am abundant

I have found affirmations to be deeply beneficial to my self love/care process. They’re ever changing and evolving as I do and are personalized to me and what my heart and soul needs to hear. As someone who has always struggled with procrastination, getting motivated has been a practice I’ve cultivated rooted in the knowing that inspired aligned action, no matter how small is true magic. It’s better to take a step in the right direction, toward something, than to not move at all. I’ve known stumbles, known falls in the name of happiness, but the triumph is in the will, and to live with purpose is to live with peace.

But that of course is easier said than done, a fact I have found to be true for myself. Cultivating sacred crafts and moments dedicated to the self is so important or one just gets swept with the tide of life. Don’t get me wrong, who doesn’t like to ride the wave of possibilities. Possibilities in love, career, social outings, but what happens when surfs not up anymore. What will you do when the waters are calm, the night is quiet, and you’re left with you? It is in these moments when your inner light shines if you let it. In these moments of painful stillness when your voice comes through and to listen to it is the biggest act of courage you can do. To know thyself, trust thyself, and be thyself no matter what, because that is true power.

And if you should ever forget who that person is…

Look at all that you have accomplished, thank your heart and soul for getting you this far and get excited about all the opportunities that can unfold before you. Ground down with the people who have seen you at your worst and know your best, you’d be surprised how much good others see in you, and we could all use a little reminder sometimes. The path can be filled with landmines or lilies, but your heart must always be filled with strength and love. Even in the weakest/darkest moments, simply getting out of bed can be seen as an accomplishment, finishing that jug of water, taking time for exercise, starting a hobby, anything that lights you up and makes you feel like your highest self! Honor yourself wherever you are in your journey and make the conscious decision to continue forward with light and love.

Keep moving forward!